Flutter: Bad@Love’s 1st Annual “Scary” Spooktacular Moments in Dating

Tuck in because these are truly scary and uncomfortable moments shared by fantastically brave individuals.

Moral to the Story: Dating shouldn’t be scary for any of us. Once again, let’s be respectful of our choice to say, “No” and move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea!

Special Thanks To These Amazing Podcasts for Sharing Their Stories:

Please support these podcasts by listening, reviewing and sharing with others.

Flutter: Dream Knight – Segments of a Lifetime Movie

In this week’s Flutter, Mallory & Tamu explore Mallory’s love of Korean dramas by watching Dream Knight.

First off,  apologies for not knowing who GOT7  were. Also, it was difficult to decipher which member was which because they change their hair color for every photo shoot.

Moral to the Story: Fall down, expect saving, dance badly after months of practice, and, be aware that your dolls came to life.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Tamu just doesn’t understand.
  • Dangerous motorcycle dance sequences.
  • Infinite montages…one at Popeye’s Chicken!
  • Tamu cannot remember Stomp the Yard.
  • The perils of walking with one crutch.
  • Early onset paralysis with muscle stiffness.
  • The origins of Twilight lip biting.
  • Dance festival = bad dancing.
  • Mallory cannot explain her love of K-dramas.
  • K-Pop Idol fans are hardcore devoted.
  • The music of GOT7.
  • Eye smiling.

 

Episode 4 Part 1: Banned@Love – Music Edition

In this week’s episode, Tamu & Mallory explore how music has shaped and will continue to shape their lives.

Tamu digs through the crates of her music collection to reveal the love songs that she banned from her ears and mind after the end of her tumultuous relationships with Sven and Bjorn. The first song on the list, Prince’s Adore, was released the same year Mallory was born, which made Tamu feel so young and vibrant!

The 7-year ban has been lifted and these songs are joyfully part of her playlist rotation once again.

Check out the Banned@Love playlist below:

Mallory shares the fact the she has incredible disdain for Owl City’s Fireflies, and had a weird fondness for Jewel. As a youth, she also played hours upon hours of video games whilst listening to Christina Aguilera’s 2002 album, Stripped.

Moral to the Story: You learn so much about a person from looking at their playlists.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Share the Love Wednesdays origins.
  • Tamu’s love for Sade is equal to her love of Prince.
  • Mallory REALLY liked The Proclaimers, I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles).
  • Tamu’s ex-men’s Nordic replacement names have her flummoxed.
  • Skryim, Dragon Age, and Zelda game music are great inspirations for fantasy writing and jewelry making.
  • Mallory has a future career as a video game DJ.
  • Alternative name for the podcast: Practically Oversharing.

Sorry Not Sorry: There is a lot of singing that is tremendously off key. Tamu knows she is not destined for Idol or The Voice, but it is her show, so deal!

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Flutter: Mallory Watches The Bachelor

In their very first mini episode, Tamu thought it would be a great idea to make Mallory watch the controversial “After the Final Rose” in which Arie breaks up with Minnesota-grown, Becca in split screen.

As with most pop culture phenomena, they are months late…so enjoy this trip back to March.

Moral of the Story: Becca, you did nothing wrong, so stop asking, “what did I do wrong”?

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Chris Harrison is evil.
  • Arie is a giant tool.
  • Potential Minnesota attractions new Bachelorette Becca will be taking her contesticles to during her family visit.

Artwork by Kerriann Art: https://www.instagram.com/artbykerriann/

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/badatlovepodcast

Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/badatlovepodcast

Visit our website: www.badatlovepodcast.com

Email us: badatlovepodcast@gmail.com

Mallory’s Birthday

This week, I turned 31.

This isn’t really all that significant in the giant scheme of things. People get older. That’s nature.

Yet, I was reflecting upon this prior to the party I was throwing myself in the shower. I was thinking about how many people turned 31 and will turn 31 within my current year of turning 31, and that while there will be many more people to eventually turn 31, the millions of people who turned 31 with me can’t be added to, and thus it is, essentially, just a group of people that dwindle down until there is only one of us from that year that finally dies out. Poof. No more people from 1987.

And then I was thinking about how many people I know from all of these other years, friends and family, and all of us are at different points in our lives, and lessons I’ve learned are things they haven’t necessarily learned themselves, but things they’ve learned I have yet to even consider.

And then I thought about what I’ve done this past year. We do that, I think, as humans, ponder over what we have accomplished, what we failed at, what we’re in the process of doing. That’s the bonus of having a larger brain, I guess. We think about more than hibernation for the winter.

These were my highlights of growth at my 31. Things I’ll forget and have to remember again later, probably.

Learning the art of letting go, as well as the art of when petty pays off. Seriously! I have, most of my life, been learning about letting go, and every time I thought I was doing the thing, I wasn’t really doing the thing. But I’m getting there. And what makes letting go fun is realizing what is worth the extra fucks to give. And then allowing myself a once in a blue moon moment to think petty thoughts and let those go, too. Because once I would let go of the petty thought, I’d end up thinking of an interesting solution or an idea for something I want to make or write. Although I do allow myself the occasional mutter of road rage under my breath.

My time is valuable. There is only so much of me to go around, and I only have so much money. The best thing I learned this past year is that I don’t have to feel so guilty about not being able to do everything with my friends and family due to my current funds. And it’s also allowed me to be more assertive in my job environment. I’m pretty assertive already, but I like to be helpful in every way possible. I’ve learned that I can’t always be there and I can’t do everything, and feeling guilty does nothing but make both parties feel bad. Healthy relationships understand situations when you communicate. And understand when you have to say ‘no’.

When I’m having a shitty day, I have my friends/family. And when I don’t have my friends/family, I have myself. And when I feel I don’t even have myself, I have therapy! Between work, life, and Netflix, lives are busy. So when I have a shitty day, I want to tell someone so they can say, “That sucks!” to make you feel valid in your emotions. In the end, everyone else has a life just like me and can’t always respond to me saying, “WHY DOES MY JOB DO THE THINGS IT DOES?!” So it’s up to me to say, “Yeah, it sucks today!” And whenever I don’t have the full capacity to pep talk myself into a better mood, therapy exists! And it is wonderful! Yay options!

Having a dog made me realize what true unconditional love is. When I was potty training Indigo, she woke me up around 2am one night with a whine. We raced to the first floor to the back door, but Indigo couldn’t make it and she peed all the way down the stairs, which are wooden and have no backs. I was exhausted. The summer job I had was fun but used up lots of energy running around parks with children, and the nights were filled with plenty of random wake-up calls for Indigo’s untrained bladder. I put her outside and gave myself a moment. Tired tears were forming. I sighed and grabbed paper towels and antiseptic spray. As I cleaned the staircase (and everything under the staircase), I realized that, despite being tired and irritated with the situation, I wasn’t angry. This was a puppy. She was learning bladder control and sleeping patterns. And she’d pee inside again. But I was okay with that. And that’s when I realized unconditional love was your loved one peeing on a staircase at 2am and you not being angry about it, just cleaning it up because this, too, shall pass.

 Emotions are valid, and using them as tools is better and more efficient than them using me. These past two years have had at me angry and more irritable than ever in my life. My therapist told me there are two ways to deal with anger. You could either have the tidal wave of emotions tumble you through in a mess, or you could be on top of the tidal wave to allow it to pass so you could do something about what you’re angry about. And she was right. Keeping the emotion with me wasn’t allowing me to have a clear head to make a decision I could be happy about. And it would often leave me so exhausted at the end of the day I couldn’t do much but go to bed or lay on the couch to watch Netflix. I found some techniques that allowed me to feel valid in my emotions and then use that energy to create something or do something that made me feel exhausted in a productive way. Hell yes.

I’m the only expert in me, just like everyone else is the only expert in themselves. When I was in my early teens, I was so naive that the world was bliss. I was the most myself ever, and it was amazing. Then I broadened my life and got wiser and it was harder to hold onto who I was consistently. As a codependent, it can be hard to be the person you want to be when you’re also worried about being the definition of yourself other people think you are–and it can be hard to allow someone else be who they are if you have a definition of who you think they are when they most likely aren’t. This realization of me has been a relief of thought responsibility, and a huge release of control. And I’m happier for it.

If I want brownies with sparkler candles, I can make that happen and light them myself. As I turned thirty-one, I thought about what I had and what I was able to do and what I wanted. I wanted close friends, I wanted Sailor Moon, I wanted brownies instead of cake, and I wanted candles that looked like sparklers because I love fireworks. So I created an event and did just that. And when it came to the part of celebrating me, I grabbed my brownies and lit my own candles and everybody started singing. Because it’s okay to say “I AM ME” and for people to say “HELL YEAH YOU ARE” and not feel guilty about it and instead wear unicorn horns and fedora hats and laugh about Sailor Moon getting her name from a cat howling at the night sky.

I’m not even done learning anything, and I guess that’s pretty cool. I’m thirty-one and I’ve learned these things and I know I’ll have to constantly be reminding myself of them to make anything a habit, and everything I think I know will be broadened as I learn new definitions to the old things I already know.

Ain’t growing up fun?

So, these are the things I’ve learned just this year. If anyone has extra advice or life lessons or interesting things that happened to them this year, shout them out!

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

The Bad at Love Podcast Team

Welcome to the Bad at Love Podcast website!

It’s a work in progress. Just like ourselves. But we’re proud of what we have recorded so far, and we’re excited about the next episodes we have planned. Expect to hear some excerpts in the coming weeks.

With that, we’re excited to announce that our first official episode will be ready to listen to on March 26th, 2018! We’ll have a pre-release intro the week prior (a soft-listening, if you will), and then expect consistent updates weekly, every Monday!

But you may be wondering what Bad at Love Podcast is all about. I can point you to our about section, but I’ll go into a bit more depth for those still full of interest.

This podcast is dedicated to proving that ‘Love is not a fairy-tale, and that’s okay!’ Think of every movie, television show, song, game, or picture of romance. With few exceptions, you’ll see they can easily set up expectations bound to fail. Prince Charming does have flaws (we promise you), and so does every Princess (we promise you). And the ever-after outcome isn’t quite the fantasy portrayed (we guarantee you).

The thing is, we can’t tell you what love is either. Love can be as simple or as complicated as one wants to make it, after all. And we as hosts aren’t exactly experts. Tamu is a Gen-Xer in her early forties yet to find a forever romantic love. And Mallory is a Millennial in her early thirties only just discovering she’d truly allow a romantic love into her life for longer than a whim.

The first few episodes will be us setting up our own hangups and past experiences in love. We’ll be sharing journal entries, poetry, movies and shows that shaped us, and even have a love tarot reading. We’ll have guests that are in love, optimistic in love, have lost love, and whatever is between. While also watching or playing those movies, television shows, songs, games, or pictures of romance.

Expect laughter, maybe some crying, and most certainly our (possibly terrible) advice on what love is or what it means.

We also look forward to your own stories, thoughts, and input! As we go along, send everything in to our email address badatlovepodcast@gmail.com — maybe you’ll hear yourself in our next episode!

Here’s to true love!
Mallory & Tamu