Episode 9.2: Bad@Love’s Summer Beach Read: Hollywood Wives – (aka, Horrible, Horrible People)

Tamu & Mallory wrap up summer with Jackie Collins, two bottles of wine, and, wild ideas.

Moral to the Story According to Mallory: Fuck love, overthrow the government!

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Tamu reads the first story she ever typed on a computer when she was 12 or 13, “The Case of the Lonely Hearts”
  • She hates that she used the “f” word and apologizes for her early teen self profusely.
  • Mallory also wrote a novel when she was younger. A 900-page tome about love and Sailor Moon. She never backed up her data, so it is lost to the ages.
  • Netflix Show to Watch: Murder Maps
  • Jackie Collins shines a light on male rape.
  • Buddy is the worst character.
  • Mallory Christmas lights analogy.
  • Jackie Did it First: Sex and the City borrowed “Who is Smith Jarrod?” billboard from Hollywood Wives.
  • Another Netflix Show to Watch: Mindhunter
  • Adrian was the best male character.
  • Podcast Shout Out: Pablo and Dottie from The Meme-ing of it All for keeping Tamu up-to-date on the latest internet memes.

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Artwork by Kerriann Art: https://www.instagram.com/artbykerriann/

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Episode 9.1: Bad@Love’s Summer Beach Read: Hollywood Wives – (aka, Horrible, Horrible People)

Yes, summer is just about over, but that is about how long it took Mallory to read one of Tamu’s favorite author’s, Jackie Collins’ classic,  Hollywood Wives. Since the book was very long, this will be another two-parter.

Morals to the Story: Go down on one another, and, don’t let anyone into your house.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • There were too many characters for Mallory.
  • Everyone’s life was tragic.
  • Podcast Shout Out: Mouse and Weens living their Hollywood and San Diego lives. Please checkout their hilarious podcast.
  • Hollywood Wives contains loads of pedophilia.
  • Hollywood Wives contains homophobia – 80s style!
  • Mallory had to make a flow chart to track all of the characters.
  • Women deserve respect – even in 1984.
  • Karen’s nipples are erotic.
  • George Michael’s Father Figure is problematic.
  • Hollywood Wives was an ABC mini series featuring many famous stars of the day.
  • Buying babies from brokers.
  • Hollywood Wives contains loads of incest and child abuse.
  • There are always consequences for actions.
  • Mallory’s Theory: Breach babies are murderers.
  • Vaginism: An Education – learn all about vaginal spasms
  • When you have exotic sex, strange things can happen.
  • Tamu’s deep love for Jackie Collins and her writing style.
  • Mallory’s deep hatred for all of the characters in this book.
  • Tamu’s Aha! Moment: Jackie Collins books trained her for Sons of Anarchy which trained her for Game of Thrones.
  • Mallory finds Van Helsing to be complex, yet intriguing.

Apologies: Eating was occurring during the recording of this episode, along with much drinking, so sorry for the chewing and talking with our mouths full –we classy!

Episode 8: How Appropriate…There’s a Wedding Outside!

In this week’s episode, Tamu and Mallory discuss the movie Sliding Doors and how their lives (both romantic and personal) might have been different if they choose another life path. Of course during the discussion, a freshly married couple are outside taking  wedding photos which was taken as a fitting sign for the two romantic cynics.

Moral to the Story: The Sliding Doors versions of Mallory and Tamu are living their best lives!

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Tamu is STILL sad that the podcast is not receiving listener emails.
  • #Vote
  • New Business Idea for Amazon: Ordering weed through Alexa
  • What-ifs from the past.
  • LOVINGLY hating on the wedding photo shoot outside.
  • The many missed opportunities of Mallory and Tamu.
  • Mallory had no time for behind the scenes theater work, she wanted to Direct!
  • More tales from Tamu’s past.
  • Amaretto Sours are just wrong.
  • Mallory’s parent’s Sunday Funday.
  • Wine interlude: If you live in/or are visiting the Twin Cities, check out Twin Cities Wine Education.
  • According to Mallory, Teddy Roosevelt is a type of white.
  • Tamu is a terrible human.
  • Sex and the City Question: What is OK to do before someone says, “I Love You?”
  • Advice from Mallory: Get yourself a man who will wipe your ass when you need it.
  • If Tamu had gone forward with any of her alternative life paths, she would have never have her current life and the people in it…and this podcast *gasp*.
  • What are the jay walking laws in England?
  • Gerry is the worst!
  • Friends 2018 would be hipsters in Williamsburg & still with no black friends!
  • British people LOVE Monty Python.
  • #Vote

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Artwork by Kerriann Art: https://www.instagram.com/artbykerriann/

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Episode 1, Part 2: Love Saboteur

In this exciting continuation of The Love Chronicles of Mallory & Tamu, we are in the fun, kicky 2000s.

Mallory talks about her awesome 2 years in arts high school with a dude known as Sex God. She also examines her college romantic life and life after college which was not smooth sailing. She learned that small town living is not always great for love, as you could end up with a recovered pedophile, or dude with 2 pregnant baby mamas. However, big city life has also given our geek chic girl some challenges; clapping dudes, nerd one-upmanship dudes, and even racist dudes!

Meanwhile, Tamu takes us through her most pivotal relationships to date: the one that brought her to Minneapolis and the one that caused her to close herself off to love & relationships.

Moral of the Story: Being OK with who you are is the most important act of love you can give yourself.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Tamu had a sex dream about Ty Pennington
  • No one is looking for a fixer upper
  • Misogynistic Dick Asshole

Apologies: There are a lot of “likes” towards the end of this episode because we drank A LOT of wine!