Flutter: Irresistible Mistakes…!

This week, Tamu and Mallory make unsurprising romantic choices when they play Irresistible Mistakes an online dating simulation game from Voltage, Inc. An otome game, this story-based game is targeted towards women.

Moral to the Story: Read a book, watch a movie, or play The Sims 4 instead.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

The main character wakes up from a night of dirty, sexy times and DOES NOT SHOWER!

The use of …! for everything the main character is thinking.

Not shockingly Tamu ended up with someone who has closed himself off to love.

Unsurprisingly Mallory ended up with someone whose heart is unavailable.

Mallory Recommends: There is a pigeon simulation game called Hatoful Boyfriend that is her FAVORITE.  She says to keep playing, it isn’t how you think.

____

Artwork by Kerriann Art: https://www.instagram.com/artbykerriann/

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Episode 6.1: Mallory The Cynical Bachelorette

Welcome to Bad at Love’s version of Mystery Science Theater 3000. This time, Tamu introduces Mallory to The Bachelorette, or as she calls it, “I like you. Don’t like you. Go away. You can stay.” We are sort of timely because the show is actually still on, however, this is episode one and the show is seven weeks in!

Moral to the Story: Sage your vag for a fresh start.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • The introduction of the “Pensive Gentleman” who will forever be known as “Persistent Gentleman”.
  • One of these dudes is a life collector of accoutrements.
  • Man buns…pass
  • Mallory loves the Harlem Globetrotters.
  • There is new job title called “Social Media Participant” which we can all add to our resumes!

Unsolicited Advice From Your Single Friend: Dating

There comes a time in every singleton’s life that you start getting advice from everyone around you that isn’t single. It’s usually from those that are perfectly happy couples that, after you answer their question of what your current dating status, they click their tongues and say, “Don’t worry, it will happen! Have you tried ____?” And you want to rip their throats out because they brought the shit up in the first place and you didn’t ASK for their advice when you answered their nosy question.

This is why I now say, “Happily single!”

As someone who honestly doesn’t talk too much of love in her daily life (yet has a podcast about it), I decided that perhaps it was about time for us singletons to take over the advice, to talk about the problematic things we constantly see in long-term relationships. The things that make us say, “Thank the gods we don’t have to deal with that.”

Be prepared for some wonderful generalizations.

Today, it’s about dating.

I often hear that when people have been together for over a year, things start to get routine. And depending on where you’re at in life, you could be married, with kids, with dog, or just simply by yourselves (that includes cats because, let’s face it, cats can live without us (unless you’re my roommate’s cat, Oliver, the cat that must be wrapped around your neck at all times)).

When you’re single, you’ve got plenty of time to live and life is never boring. I’m here to tell you how to spice things up!

Have a date night at least once every two weeks. And don’t just go to some restaurant every time. There are GroupOn’s for a reason. Go to a cooking class, try wake boarding, dabble in sky diving, volunteer to walk dogs or play with cats at a shelter. Avoid the painting pub classes; you end up with two pieces of similar art work, so now what are you going to do?

You could also take a kink sex class or something. I’m not saying you have to go all out into BDSM or fetishes (although, if you both are hot to trot, two thumbs up!). But it can be fun, you learn new things, and nothing says I love you more than staying open in your communication about the bedroom.

In fact, I hear about the bedroom being a problem frequently in long-term relationships. Better make the kink sex class your top priority.

Have you tried making cider? Have you tried ice cream tastings? Going to a psychic? Therapy?

That last one is for those that have communication issues in general, so it isn’t necessarily for everyone.

The point is, your bland couple’s lifestyle doesn’t have to be bland. And while kids do add a special spice to your life that only those that have them can speak to, just go on a date already — and ask your single friends where the best places to go are. We’re living it up 24-7.

Flutter: Mallory Watches The Bachelor

In their very first mini episode, Tamu thought it would be a great idea to make Mallory watch the controversial “After the Final Rose” in which Arie breaks up with Minnesota-grown, Becca in split screen.

As with most pop culture phenomena, they are months late…so enjoy this trip back to March.

Moral of the Story: Becca, you did nothing wrong, so stop asking, “what did I do wrong”?

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Chris Harrison is evil.
  • Arie is a giant tool.
  • Potential Minnesota attractions new Bachelorette Becca will be taking her contesticles to during her family visit.

Artwork by Kerriann Art: https://www.instagram.com/artbykerriann/

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Episode 1, Part 2: Love Saboteur

In this exciting continuation of The Love Chronicles of Mallory & Tamu, we are in the fun, kicky 2000s.

Mallory talks about her awesome 2 years in arts high school with a dude known as Sex God. She also examines her college romantic life and life after college which was not smooth sailing. She learned that small town living is not always great for love, as you could end up with a recovered pedophile, or dude with 2 pregnant baby mamas. However, big city life has also given our geek chic girl some challenges; clapping dudes, nerd one-upmanship dudes, and even racist dudes!

Meanwhile, Tamu takes us through her most pivotal relationships to date: the one that brought her to Minneapolis and the one that caused her to close herself off to love & relationships.

Moral of the Story: Being OK with who you are is the most important act of love you can give yourself.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Tamu had a sex dream about Ty Pennington
  • No one is looking for a fixer upper
  • Misogynistic Dick Asshole

Apologies: There are a lot of “likes” towards the end of this episode because we drank A LOT of wine!

Episode One, Part One: Regrets? I’ve Had a Few.

In their first episode, Mallory and Tamu discuss how they got to the point of being cynical and guarded when it comes to love and relationships.

Jump in your time machines, folks, because Tamu digs into the pages of her 90s Trapper Keeper journal and old poetry to explore her love roots. Apparently, she has always been sleep deprived as her journal entries were commonly written after midnight.

Meanwhile, Mallory talks about growing up geek chic in a small Minnesota town. Unlike Tamu, who learned about love from TV and movies, Mallory got all of her love lessons from YA novels. Small town living might have been the pits and riddled with mean girls, but Mallory has always chosen her own path.

This episode ends with an epic dance fight (yes, DANCE FIGHT) that could only happen at a 7th grade dance in a tiny town.

Moral of the Story: Embrace yourself and love your inner/outer nerd.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Idris Elba’s engagement
  • Mallory’s deep love of Neil Patrick Harris
  • Tamu invented the Bachelor in the 90s
  • Tamu had secret lives during the dawn of the Internet
  • Both ladies are breaking patterns
  • We did it our way!

The Bad at Love Podcast Team

Welcome to the Bad at Love Podcast website!

It’s a work in progress. Just like ourselves. But we’re proud of what we have recorded so far, and we’re excited about the next episodes we have planned. Expect to hear some excerpts in the coming weeks.

With that, we’re excited to announce that our first official episode will be ready to listen to on March 26th, 2018! We’ll have a pre-release intro the week prior (a soft-listening, if you will), and then expect consistent updates weekly, every Monday!

But you may be wondering what Bad at Love Podcast is all about. I can point you to our about section, but I’ll go into a bit more depth for those still full of interest.

This podcast is dedicated to proving that ‘Love is not a fairy-tale, and that’s okay!’ Think of every movie, television show, song, game, or picture of romance. With few exceptions, you’ll see they can easily set up expectations bound to fail. Prince Charming does have flaws (we promise you), and so does every Princess (we promise you). And the ever-after outcome isn’t quite the fantasy portrayed (we guarantee you).

The thing is, we can’t tell you what love is either. Love can be as simple or as complicated as one wants to make it, after all. And we as hosts aren’t exactly experts. Tamu is a Gen-Xer in her early forties yet to find a forever romantic love. And Mallory is a Millennial in her early thirties only just discovering she’d truly allow a romantic love into her life for longer than a whim.

The first few episodes will be us setting up our own hangups and past experiences in love. We’ll be sharing journal entries, poetry, movies and shows that shaped us, and even have a love tarot reading. We’ll have guests that are in love, optimistic in love, have lost love, and whatever is between. While also watching or playing those movies, television shows, songs, games, or pictures of romance.

Expect laughter, maybe some crying, and most certainly our (possibly terrible) advice on what love is or what it means.

We also look forward to your own stories, thoughts, and input! As we go along, send everything in to our email address badatlovepodcast@gmail.com — maybe you’ll hear yourself in our next episode!

Here’s to true love!
Mallory & Tamu