Flutter: We Are Enough As We Are – Deal With It

The amazing Awkwafina talks about dating, not fitting the “ideal type”, and embracing her true self in Vogue’s online series, “Sad Hot Girls“. This of course resonated with the Bad at Love ladies and they found quite a bit discuss.

Moral to the Story: You know yourself as well as you know yourself.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Tamu found that she had to compromise her sadness while in relationships.
  • Stupidly taking care of people who were capable of taking care of themselves.
  • Tamu had to learn how to figure out life in Minnesota alone because Sven/Bjorn (she can’t remember anymore!) was a jerk about it.
  • Tamu fortunately dodged Minnesota Nice.
  • Podcast Shout Out: Dinner for One check out this truly honest and witty podcast about a woman who moved to Paris for love, and when that didn’t work out, decided to make a live for herself in France. Also, she makes amazing French dishes for herself.
  • Tamu’s dinner for one podcast variation would be assorted Minnesota hot dishes.
  • Canning for one might be a better fit.
  • Mallory’s friends represent MN hard.
  • In Minnesota school lunches were primarily hot dishes.
  • Mallory refuses to compromise who she is, yet she consistently sabotages herself in relationships.
  • The joys of dating whilst brown.
  • Picture Christmas cards are a Midwest thing.
  • Bomb Idea: “Sad” Single Ladies Photo Christmas cards
  • On dates, Mallory tones down her feminism and political leanings, then she cranks it up to 11 if the dude turns out to be an asshole.
  • Mallory’s compromises with her family.
  • Mallory doesn’t suppress her geek chicness.
  • Mallory has changed her outlook on non-nerd/gamers because fresh blood can change the culture.
  • Mallory realizes she may be too rigid when it comes to being herself.
  • If Mallory didn’t have a fur baby, she would have left the country already.
  • Life of single fur baby motherhood.
  • Mallory’s parents are amazing.
  • Tamu not longer wants to be accommodating.
  • If you know Tamu is dating a murderer, tell her!

____

Artwork by Kerriann Art: https://www.instagram.com/artbykerriann/

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Episode 6.1: Mallory The Cynical Bachelorette

Welcome to Bad at Love’s version of Mystery Science Theater 3000. This time, Tamu introduces Mallory to The Bachelorette, or as she calls it, “I like you. Don’t like you. Go away. You can stay.” We are sort of timely because the show is actually still on, however, this is episode one and the show is seven weeks in!

Moral to the Story: Sage your vag for a fresh start.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • The introduction of the “Pensive Gentleman” who will forever be known as “Persistent Gentleman”.
  • One of these dudes is a life collector of accoutrements.
  • Man buns…pass
  • Mallory loves the Harlem Globetrotters.
  • There is new job title called “Social Media Participant” which we can all add to our resumes!

Flutter: Bad at Love @ The Movies – “I Feel Pretty”

In this week’s Flutter, Mallory and Tamu discuss a movie they saw back in April; Amy Schumer’s, I Feel Pretty.

Moral to the Story: Do whatever you think makes you feel pretty, and see Avengers: Infinity War.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Northern Spark
  • Winter because its Minnesota
  • The importance of telling your friends when you’ve suffered a head injury.

Artwork by Kerriann Art: https://www.instagram.com/artbykerriann/

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Is Prom Important? Thoughts by Mallory.

I tried looking up the history of prom this week. There were articles from Bustle, Time, and the all-time lazy favorite, Wikipedia.

I was genuinely curious about why these things have been going on for so long, why there is still pressure on teenagers for them, and what the patriarchy had to do with it (a constant question, honestly).

It was sort of what I expected. Back in the day (the technical term), there were grand balls for ladies where they’d be brought out officially into public, essentially a time that would declare that this woman was now available to charm into marrying. Since balls didn’t stick around forever, and public schools were The Thing, to me it made sense that they continued to use the same sort of idea, but for everyone to play pretend that they were adults because, hey, you dress up nice, maybe have a fancy dinner, have a nice car…

But the proms, from what I’ve read, went from simply wearing your Sunday Best to rather extravagant extremes. While Tamu and I paid small amounts to look great, and may have had those around us create their own dresses/tuxes, the typical high schools that my friends went to? Some people were spending $500 on a dress!

And that’s where I ask the question: Is a prom so important to spend such a fortune?

I can see it from both points. This is a day for most teenagers that is a passage of going into adulthood. It should be enjoyed, celebrated, and, quite frankly, can be quite the ego boost when you’ve bought your clothes and are surrounded by the fancy attire. Although Tamu and I didn’t have Prom King/Queen, that’s probably fun, too. Everyone voting democratically for a monarchy. Plus, tradition. It’s been going on for so many years, it’s a notable event in every single novel/movie/television show that depicts high school students. And it’s a popular enough tradition that it’s basically world-wide.

However, it is also…just one night that, while I personally remember it being fun, it wasn’t the highlight of my youth. It isn’t in the top ten moments of my life. And I cannot imagine spending so much money on something before starting college–nothing like starting out in debt to more debt (although, maybe people would argue that’s just America. *bah-dum-dum tishhhh*). I guess my main point here would be that if I hadn’t gone to prom, I don’t think my life would have changed significantly.

And yet… I guess I’m still in favor of prom when it comes down to it. I have seen some really amazing things come out of this tradition, mostly as it becomes less traditional. For instance, prom is also considered a time to show off yourself with your couple. While this can be too much pressure for those of us without a partner, many LGBTQ teenagers are going with their partners.

In the end, the importance of prom is what you make it, I suppose. Tamu and I had a great time with friends, dancing and laughing. I have heard stories of terrible proms and fantastic proms. I know people who married the person they went to prom with. If you didn’t go, it probably didn’t change your life for the worse. And if you did? You’ve got a memory long faded that will emerge once again at your 10/20/30 year reunion, complete with photos you’d probably well forget anyway.

What about your prom? Let us know if you had a Pretty in Pink situation, or if you forewent the event to watching a film instead.

Duckie vs Blaine

The podcast is out, and so is the main question: Duckie or Blaine?

This question has been asked since the film first came out. The ending had been changed from the script because “she would never choose Duckie”, Duckie was based off of a gay friend, etc. But when it comes down to it, who would you choose?

Tamu said Duckie. I said Blaine (after saying no one). And there were some amazing comments, one of which said to choose the record store owner, so I guess she should have written the movie instead.

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IF you haven’t yet, make your comments on our Instagram post to put in your two cents! And maybe make a comment or two about the prom dress she wore…

Unsolicited Advice From Your Single Friend: Dating

There comes a time in every singleton’s life that you start getting advice from everyone around you that isn’t single. It’s usually from those that are perfectly happy couples that, after you answer their question of what your current dating status, they click their tongues and say, “Don’t worry, it will happen! Have you tried ____?” And you want to rip their throats out because they brought the shit up in the first place and you didn’t ASK for their advice when you answered their nosy question.

This is why I now say, “Happily single!”

As someone who honestly doesn’t talk too much of love in her daily life (yet has a podcast about it), I decided that perhaps it was about time for us singletons to take over the advice, to talk about the problematic things we constantly see in long-term relationships. The things that make us say, “Thank the gods we don’t have to deal with that.”

Be prepared for some wonderful generalizations.

Today, it’s about dating.

I often hear that when people have been together for over a year, things start to get routine. And depending on where you’re at in life, you could be married, with kids, with dog, or just simply by yourselves (that includes cats because, let’s face it, cats can live without us (unless you’re my roommate’s cat, Oliver, the cat that must be wrapped around your neck at all times)).

When you’re single, you’ve got plenty of time to live and life is never boring. I’m here to tell you how to spice things up!

Have a date night at least once every two weeks. And don’t just go to some restaurant every time. There are GroupOn’s for a reason. Go to a cooking class, try wake boarding, dabble in sky diving, volunteer to walk dogs or play with cats at a shelter. Avoid the painting pub classes; you end up with two pieces of similar art work, so now what are you going to do?

You could also take a kink sex class or something. I’m not saying you have to go all out into BDSM or fetishes (although, if you both are hot to trot, two thumbs up!). But it can be fun, you learn new things, and nothing says I love you more than staying open in your communication about the bedroom.

In fact, I hear about the bedroom being a problem frequently in long-term relationships. Better make the kink sex class your top priority.

Have you tried making cider? Have you tried ice cream tastings? Going to a psychic? Therapy?

That last one is for those that have communication issues in general, so it isn’t necessarily for everyone.

The point is, your bland couple’s lifestyle doesn’t have to be bland. And while kids do add a special spice to your life that only those that have them can speak to, just go on a date already — and ask your single friends where the best places to go are. We’re living it up 24-7.

Flutter: Mallory Watches The Bachelor

In their very first mini episode, Tamu thought it would be a great idea to make Mallory watch the controversial “After the Final Rose” in which Arie breaks up with Minnesota-grown, Becca in split screen.

As with most pop culture phenomena, they are months late…so enjoy this trip back to March.

Moral of the Story: Becca, you did nothing wrong, so stop asking, “what did I do wrong”?

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Chris Harrison is evil.
  • Arie is a giant tool.
  • Potential Minnesota attractions new Bachelorette Becca will be taking her contesticles to during her family visit.

Artwork by Kerriann Art: https://www.instagram.com/artbykerriann/

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