Flutter: A Glamorous Barf & Fall

Have you even pulled a Sandra Dee from Grease to attract a boy/girl? We talk about the times we tried to put our freakum dresses to bag dudes and the amazing fails that occurred as a result.

Moral to the Story: It never goes well when you try to change yourself for others.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Check your shoes for cardboard.
  • Tamu’s Hulu Show not in development: The Handslut’s Tale.
  • We did not meet the band members from Justin Timberlake’s 20/20 Experience Tour.
  • Mallory’s Terrible Awful Fancy Night Out.
  • Mini Moral: Always eat while you drink.
  • The first time…Mallory shaved her legs: her mom forced her to stay in the shower until she did it.
  • Microblading and henna.
  • Tamu trims and plucks to go to the OB/GYN.
  • Extreme weight loss doesn’t always work…you still gotta fix what is within.

Episode 9.1: Bad@Love’s Summer Beach Read: Hollywood Wives – (aka, Horrible, Horrible People)

Yes, summer is just about over, but that is about how long it took Mallory to read one of Tamu’s favorite author’s, Jackie Collins’ classic,  Hollywood Wives. Since the book was very long, this will be another two-parter.

Morals to the Story: Go down on one another, and, don’t let anyone into your house.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • There were too many characters for Mallory.
  • Everyone’s life was tragic.
  • Podcast Shout Out: Mouse and Weens living their Hollywood and San Diego lives. Please checkout their hilarious podcast.
  • Hollywood Wives contains loads of pedophilia.
  • Hollywood Wives contains homophobia – 80s style!
  • Mallory had to make a flow chart to track all of the characters.
  • Women deserve respect – even in 1984.
  • Karen’s nipples are erotic.
  • George Michael’s Father Figure is problematic.
  • Hollywood Wives was an ABC mini series featuring many famous stars of the day.
  • Buying babies from brokers.
  • Hollywood Wives contains loads of incest and child abuse.
  • There are always consequences for actions.
  • Mallory’s Theory: Breach babies are murderers.
  • Vaginism: An Education – learn all about vaginal spasms
  • When you have exotic sex, strange things can happen.
  • Tamu’s deep love for Jackie Collins and her writing style.
  • Mallory’s deep hatred for all of the characters in this book.
  • Tamu’s Aha! Moment: Jackie Collins books trained her for Sons of Anarchy which trained her for Game of Thrones.
  • Mallory finds Van Helsing to be complex, yet intriguing.

Apologies: Eating was occurring during the recording of this episode, along with much drinking, so sorry for the chewing and talking with our mouths full –we classy!

Episode 8: How Appropriate…There’s a Wedding Outside!

In this week’s episode, Tamu and Mallory discuss the movie Sliding Doors and how their lives (both romantic and personal) might have been different if they choose another life path. Of course during the discussion, a freshly married couple are outside taking  wedding photos which was taken as a fitting sign for the two romantic cynics.

Moral to the Story: The Sliding Doors versions of Mallory and Tamu are living their best lives!

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Tamu is STILL sad that the podcast is not receiving listener emails.
  • #Vote
  • New Business Idea for Amazon: Ordering weed through Alexa
  • What-ifs from the past.
  • LOVINGLY hating on the wedding photo shoot outside.
  • The many missed opportunities of Mallory and Tamu.
  • Mallory had no time for behind the scenes theater work, she wanted to Direct!
  • More tales from Tamu’s past.
  • Amaretto Sours are just wrong.
  • Mallory’s parent’s Sunday Funday.
  • Wine interlude: If you live in/or are visiting the Twin Cities, check out Twin Cities Wine Education.
  • According to Mallory, Teddy Roosevelt is a type of white.
  • Tamu is a terrible human.
  • Sex and the City Question: What is OK to do before someone says, “I Love You?”
  • Advice from Mallory: Get yourself a man who will wipe your ass when you need it.
  • If Tamu had gone forward with any of her alternative life paths, she would have never have her current life and the people in it…and this podcast *gasp*.
  • What are the jay walking laws in England?
  • Gerry is the worst!
  • Friends 2018 would be hipsters in Williamsburg & still with no black friends!
  • British people LOVE Monty Python.
  • #Vote

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Artwork by Kerriann Art: https://www.instagram.com/artbykerriann/

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Episode 6.2: Mallory, The Bachelorette Cynic

In the exciting second part of this thrilling episode, Mallory continues to watch the contesticles get out of cars and drink, and dunk basketballs, and critique each other’s clothes in the name of “love”.

Moral to the Story: Be honest because telling people in advance you have warrants, are a homophobe, a racist, a virgin, or, a persistent gentleman will surely still get you on a romance reality competition show.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Mallory had REAL issues with Jake from Minneapolis.
  • What is your patronus? The new pick up line for the zillennials? Perennials? Whatever the new millennials are called.
  • Shout out to Shoulda Swiped Left Podcast for keeping it real about the dating world.