Flutter: Making it Through the Wilderness

Join Tamu and Mallory as they recount their very first times.

Moral to the Story: Have that sex test results convo before diving into the festivities.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Tamu and Mallory were both late bloomers.
  • We are conditioned via pop culture to believe you should be between ages 15 – 18 when you loose your virginity.
  • Old men are gross and disgusting.
  • Mallory planned her first time and went for it with gusto and actually enjoyed herself.
  • Tamu’s planned first time was with Phil and was supposed to be in Atlantic City.
  • Tamu’s REAL first time was still with Phil on Mother’s Day on the floor of his parents’ house.
  • B@L Concept: The Reluctant Virgin
  • There is a lot of planning and prep involved in anal sex.

 

Episode 34: 36 Questions to Idris Elba

This week Tamu & Mallory discuss 36 Questions to Love and how their answering these questions over wine in 2015 laid the foundation for their friendship.

Moral to the Story: You can use these questions to develop a foundation regardless of relationship.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Get to Know Us: Have you used scents to try an attract people?
  • Perfumes are bad for you.
  • Tamu loved original Dolce & Gabanna
  • Scent trails – that time on the jetway when someone farted.
  • Chemical smells gives Mallory a migraine.
  • #WePodcastLikeThis
  • The Key to 36 Questions: Be open-minded.
  • 4 minutes of looking into someone’s eyes in silence it too much for Tamu.
  • For our true crime friends: you may be able to detect sociopathy and psychopathy with these questions.
  • These questions can be a good way to gauge someone’s open-mindedness.
  • There is a potential for us to to make compromises even with these questions because we see what we want to see.
  • Tamu wonders if these questions would have worked with Wights 1 and 2 and determines, probably not.
  • Follow your intuition. It is OK to be alone.
  • Make good climatic choices.
  • Try these 36 questions on a speed date.
  • Idris Elba

Flutter: Breakup Escape

New York Magazine’s, The Cut article, “8 TV Shows to Watch After a Breakup” sparked a lovely conversation about TV shows watched by Tamu and Mallory during the dark times of relationships end.

Moral to the Story: Breakup shows are good for a time, but, when you end up hating them, it means you have moved on.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

 

 

Episode 33: Braving the Wilderness

As a part of Tamu’s personal growth journey, she chose to read Brene Brown’s, Braving the Wilderness then thought it would be good idea to read for the podcast at some point. The timing was astounding, as it was read during a week of mass shootings at the end of July into August and the book served as basis to try and understand why these tragedies continue to occur and how we can work in our own small ways to make change.

Moral to the Story: Listen to try to understand in the same way we want to be understood.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Get to Know Us: Being in a relationship with a person of color. Awareness of the whites to issues of others. Respect when your partner draws attention to situations.
  • Mallory hates slap bracelets.
  • Drink of the Day: Tinto de Verano
  • What is the wilderness? Standing in your truth and not wavering from it.
  • It is important to set up boundaries for yourself.
  • We are living in a giant feedback loop.
  • Loneliness stems from fear & anger.
  • We are where we are today out of fear.
  • Global and Domestic Terrorism: A Discussion
  • Dehumanization
  • Mallory is losing her empathy for gunmen.
  • We are all able to recognize and stop it.
  • Conflict transformation: Help me understand.
  • Mallory is always on a rampage for justice, to hell with small victories.
  • Tamu is working on being joy-filled but she is busy foreboding joy.
  • Be courageous and vulnerable.
  • Express your joy, it will make others happy.

Flutter: Kittenfishing

Tamu and Mallory discussed the lesser known, but all to commonplace concept of kittenfishing thanks to the Huffington Post article, “If You’re Dating, You’ve Almost Undoubtedly Been Kittenfished.”

Moral to the Story: You don’t have to lie about who you are–we will find out.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Kittenfishing was created by Hinge. It means, someone who presents themselves unrealistically using Photoshop, older, albeit younger pictures, etc.
  • Calling it “kittenfishing” makes it sound less insidious.
  • Mallory finds herself entertaining.

Flutter: Social Justice Book Club with Hannah C.

Our Emotional Intelligence consultant, Hannah (see Episode 25: My Life is the Mmmbop Song) launched a Social Justice Book Club at the Golden Valley Public Library in Minneapolis. We talk how Hannah selects books for her book club and get insights on her motivation for starting it.

Moral to the Story: Change can effect not just family, but those around you.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

Future Books for the Club:

Past Book Club Selections:

Get the Upcoming Book Club List:

  • Email Hannah: hcarney@umn.edu

 

 

Flutter: Try the Bacon – Advice to Tamu in Europe

Tamu is off to Europe for two whole months! Tiffany from (A)broad in Education and super special guest Thuan (check out his foodie Instagram @travel2f00d) join Mallory in giving her advice for her travels.

Moral to the Story: Say yes and don’t be afraid to go off your plan.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

Episode 29: How to Date Men When You Hate Men: The Book of Contradictions

We read Blythe Roberson’s How to Date Men When You Hate Men basically because Mallory hates dudes and we want to get to the bottom of it.

Moral to the Story: Times are a changin’! You can write your own story when it comes to relationships.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Get to Know Us: Relationship flashbacks. What do you do when you are triggered into a relationship memory?
  • Wish them well even if they are assholes.
  • #WePodcastLikeThis
  • Hair Colorist Shout Out –  to Shelly Rae of Paper Hair Salon.
  • Everyone wanted Mallory to read this book.
  • Mallory can’t get past the hate because of her trust issues.
  • Blythe might need Talkspace.
  • You can chart your own path when it comes to love.
  • Is the fairy tale real? Maybe, but it will end because love is a false construct.
  • Pop culture dictates the rules.
  • What does dating mean?
  • The group hang.
  • Is it so wrong to have phone conversations in 2019?
  • Hold fast to your deal breakers.
  • Have multiple crushes.
  • The 2 question rule.

Episode 28: Be Honest With What You Want to Get What You Desire & Deserve

This week we talk with our friend and author of Reclaiming Choice: Awakening Peace and Power from Within, Gretchen about not compromising on your deal-breakers in relationships. BTW, she is also the lovely woman who let us record season one at her house.

Moral to the Story: You don’t have to jump into dating immediately after a breakup.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Get to Know Us: What should the legal smoking age be? 18 or 21?
  • Our consensus was 19.
  • Tamu is going to try a hash brownie when she goes to Amsterdam.
  • #WePodcastLikeThis
  • We create our own relationships. Get clear on your deal-breakers.
  • Communicating with the Opposite Sex, by Alison Armstrong.
  • Follow your gut.
  • Don’t compromise on your happiness.
  • It is more sensible to look for what you desire and deserve, rather than waste someone’s time.
  • It is not easy to sit within yourself.
  • Take time to process the end of relationships or else you’ll bring that baggage into your next one.
  • At the end of the day, be honest with what you want.

 

Book Recommendation:

Check out Gretchen’s book, Reclaiming Choice: Awakening Peace and Power from Within:

Is the world going mad? Have you wondered if the violence and suffering will ever end? With gentle words, Gretchen speaks through the fog of pain and confusion to a culture that has lost its center. Conveyed in a personal narrative that is at once familiar and profound, she guides the reader through the layers of separation obscuring access to peace and wholeness. The journey is as healing as it is empowering; awakening the reader to the importance of reclaiming their right of conscious choice. In the process, Gretchen builds a bridge between where we are now and where we can go as individuals, communities and as a human race. It is a refreshing perspective, worthy of consideration, discussion and application.

Flutter: Not Going to Have Sex to that Weird Pac-Man Song

This week we are talkin’ ’bout the songs that maybe shouldn’t be played when the mood strikes thanks to the Huff Post article, 20 Songs You Should Never Pay During Sex

Moral to the Story: Red flags can also be found in playlists.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • The Toy Story toys probably have jizz on them.
  • Mallory has her own version of Baby Shark.
  • Tamu doesn’t know anything by Tom Waits.
  • The Star Spangled Banner is racist.
  • Mallory knows someone who would bang to the song, Tears in Heaven.
  • Shout out to C-Dot from the Meme-ing of it All and her love for Old Town Road
  • Would you include Old Town Road to your playlist?
  • Mallory’s mom wanted her and her brother to be in a Hanson-esque band.
  • Wight 2 played Closerby Nine Inch Nails after sex with Tamu. She was unsure as to whether or not it was a compliment.