Episode 6.2: Mallory, The Bachelorette Cynic

In the exciting second part of this thrilling episode, Mallory continues to watch the contesticles get out of cars and drink, and dunk basketballs, and critique each other’s clothes in the name of “love”.

Moral to the Story: Be honest because telling people in advance you have warrants, are a homophobe, a racist, a virgin, or, a persistent gentleman will surely still get you on a romance reality competition show.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Mallory had REAL issues with Jake from Minneapolis.
  • What is your patronus? The new pick up line for the zillennials? Perennials? Whatever the new millennials are called.
  • Shout out to Shoulda Swiped Left Podcast for keeping it real about the dating world.

 

Episode 6.1: Mallory The Cynical Bachelorette

Welcome to Bad at Love’s version of Mystery Science Theater 3000. This time, Tamu introduces Mallory to The Bachelorette, or as she calls it, “I like you. Don’t like you. Go away. You can stay.” We are sort of timely because the show is actually still on, however, this is episode one and the show is seven weeks in!

Moral to the Story: Sage your vag for a fresh start.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • The introduction of the “Pensive Gentleman” who will forever be known as “Persistent Gentleman”.
  • One of these dudes is a life collector of accoutrements.
  • Man buns…pass
  • Mallory loves the Harlem Globetrotters.
  • There is new job title called “Social Media Participant” which we can all add to our resumes!

Flutter: Dream Knight – Segments of a Lifetime Movie

In this week’s Flutter, Mallory & Tamu explore Mallory’s love of Korean dramas by watching Dream Knight.

First off,  apologies for not knowing who GOT7  were. Also, it was difficult to decipher which member was which because they change their hair color for every photo shoot.

Moral to the Story: Fall down, expect saving, dance badly after months of practice, and, be aware that your dolls came to life.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Tamu just doesn’t understand.
  • Dangerous motorcycle dance sequences.
  • Infinite montages…one at Popeye’s Chicken!
  • Tamu cannot remember Stomp the Yard.
  • The perils of walking with one crutch.
  • Early onset paralysis with muscle stiffness.
  • The origins of Twilight lip biting.
  • Dance festival = bad dancing.
  • Mallory cannot explain her love of K-dramas.
  • K-Pop Idol fans are hardcore devoted.
  • The music of GOT7.
  • Eye smiling.

 

Episode 5: Love is a Complicated Everything

In this week’s episode (the final in the get-to-know us series), Tamu & Mallory discuss their relationship red flags. Some examples are: don’t be a bad kisser, don’t send dicktures (dictures? you get it), and don’t tell Tamu you took an epic dump in a local supermarket after eating cheese curds. They also turn the tables on themselves and talk about what their own red flags are.

Moral to the Story: We can’t be your everything, find a hobby.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Tamu learns what a Coco Roo is.
  • Mallory explains what pull tabs are.
  • The pitbull on the NYC subway.
  • Beauty standards are impossible.
  • Neil Patrick Harris could never be a Trump supporter.
  • Dating a taxidermist ticks off a box on Mallory’s bucket list.
  • If Bad at Love Pod ruled the world, Tamu would be napping.
  • Mallory got killed in the video game, Democracy for giving free lunch to kids…thanks Democracy.
  • The Minnesota locked bathroom door policy.

New Potential Band Names: Fondling Assholes (could be a classical music orchestra, no?)

Flutter: America, the Human Centipede

It started out like any other recording session, but it quickly turned into something else… Mallory and Tamu typically do not get too deep into politics on this podcast, but both women have very strong opinions about what is happening at the border and could not remain silent. There isn’t a mistake in the editing; there is no music per usual on purpose.

Moral to the Story: Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. There is a long history in this country of family separation/internment/general othering of groups of people; the difference now is we can break the cycle.

Flutter: Bad at Love @ The Movies – “I Feel Pretty”

In this week’s Flutter, Mallory and Tamu discuss a movie they saw back in April; Amy Schumer’s, I Feel Pretty.

Moral to the Story: Do whatever you think makes you feel pretty, and see Avengers: Infinity War.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Northern Spark
  • Winter because its Minnesota
  • The importance of telling your friends when you’ve suffered a head injury.

Artwork by Kerriann Art: https://www.instagram.com/artbykerriann/

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Episode 4, Part 2: Mallory’s Poor, Dark Closet

In this week’s episode, Tamu & Mallory dig deep into Mallory’s school-aged treasures and talk about her teenage crushes.

We learn about her love of Heath Ledger, David Bowie, Jeff Goldblum (of course), and Orlando Bloom, a.k.a., Legolas. Turns out, Mr. Bloom held a special place in her heart for a number of years as we discover from all of the assorted Lord of the Rings posters, trading cards, and assorted memorabilia she collected.

Mallory shares her drawings from art high school and, much like Tamu’s journals and poetry, they provide amazing insights about a young lady, who really wanted to be a warrior, who loves dragons, and yearned for the heart of one hot, blonde elf; Legolas.

Moral to the Story: Crushes are fun!

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Anime character development.
  • Mallory’s high-school Spanish project.
  • Spike Spiegel from Cowboy Bebop.
  • Mallory has a hand-signed note from JK Rowling!
  • Lawyer braids
  • Mallory’s ocean wedding to Orlando Bloom, complete with dolphin.

Apologies: We used to record at the library and every time we did, we would get interrupted. This was our last recording session there and we thought we made it unscathed…we were wrong! Enjoy that announcement at the end!

Episode 4 Part 1: Banned@Love – Music Edition

In this week’s episode, Tamu & Mallory explore how music has shaped and will continue to shape their lives.

Tamu digs through the crates of her music collection to reveal the love songs that she banned from her ears and mind after the end of her tumultuous relationships with Sven and Bjorn. The first song on the list, Prince’s Adore, was released the same year Mallory was born, which made Tamu feel so young and vibrant!

The 7-year ban has been lifted and these songs are joyfully part of her playlist rotation once again.

Check out the Banned@Love playlist below:

Mallory shares the fact the she has incredible disdain for Owl City’s Fireflies, and had a weird fondness for Jewel. As a youth, she also played hours upon hours of video games whilst listening to Christina Aguilera’s 2002 album, Stripped.

Moral to the Story: You learn so much about a person from looking at their playlists.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Share the Love Wednesdays origins.
  • Tamu’s love for Sade is equal to her love of Prince.
  • Mallory REALLY liked The Proclaimers, I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles).
  • Tamu’s ex-men’s Nordic replacement names have her flummoxed.
  • Skryim, Dragon Age, and Zelda game music are great inspirations for fantasy writing and jewelry making.
  • Mallory has a future career as a video game DJ.
  • Alternative name for the podcast: Practically Oversharing.

Sorry Not Sorry: There is a lot of singing that is tremendously off key. Tamu knows she is not destined for Idol or The Voice, but it is her show, so deal!

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Artwork by Kerriann Art: https://www.instagram.com/artbykerriann/

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Is Prom Important? Thoughts by Mallory.

I tried looking up the history of prom this week. There were articles from Bustle, Time, and the all-time lazy favorite, Wikipedia.

I was genuinely curious about why these things have been going on for so long, why there is still pressure on teenagers for them, and what the patriarchy had to do with it (a constant question, honestly).

It was sort of what I expected. Back in the day (the technical term), there were grand balls for ladies where they’d be brought out officially into public, essentially a time that would declare that this woman was now available to charm into marrying. Since balls didn’t stick around forever, and public schools were The Thing, to me it made sense that they continued to use the same sort of idea, but for everyone to play pretend that they were adults because, hey, you dress up nice, maybe have a fancy dinner, have a nice car…

But the proms, from what I’ve read, went from simply wearing your Sunday Best to rather extravagant extremes. While Tamu and I paid small amounts to look great, and may have had those around us create their own dresses/tuxes, the typical high schools that my friends went to? Some people were spending $500 on a dress!

And that’s where I ask the question: Is a prom so important to spend such a fortune?

I can see it from both points. This is a day for most teenagers that is a passage of going into adulthood. It should be enjoyed, celebrated, and, quite frankly, can be quite the ego boost when you’ve bought your clothes and are surrounded by the fancy attire. Although Tamu and I didn’t have Prom King/Queen, that’s probably fun, too. Everyone voting democratically for a monarchy. Plus, tradition. It’s been going on for so many years, it’s a notable event in every single novel/movie/television show that depicts high school students. And it’s a popular enough tradition that it’s basically world-wide.

However, it is also…just one night that, while I personally remember it being fun, it wasn’t the highlight of my youth. It isn’t in the top ten moments of my life. And I cannot imagine spending so much money on something before starting college–nothing like starting out in debt to more debt (although, maybe people would argue that’s just America. *bah-dum-dum tishhhh*). I guess my main point here would be that if I hadn’t gone to prom, I don’t think my life would have changed significantly.

And yet… I guess I’m still in favor of prom when it comes down to it. I have seen some really amazing things come out of this tradition, mostly as it becomes less traditional. For instance, prom is also considered a time to show off yourself with your couple. While this can be too much pressure for those of us without a partner, many LGBTQ teenagers are going with their partners.

In the end, the importance of prom is what you make it, I suppose. Tamu and I had a great time with friends, dancing and laughing. I have heard stories of terrible proms and fantastic proms. I know people who married the person they went to prom with. If you didn’t go, it probably didn’t change your life for the worse. And if you did? You’ve got a memory long faded that will emerge once again at your 10/20/30 year reunion, complete with photos you’d probably well forget anyway.

What about your prom? Let us know if you had a Pretty in Pink situation, or if you forewent the event to watching a film instead.

No, Blaine. What About Prom?!

Just in time for prom season! Mallory and Tamu revisit their prom(s) in this week’s flutter.

Tamu only had one prom in comparison to Mallory’s multiple proms. Tamu’s prom date was supposed to be her extremely handsome German cousin but he cancelled due to girlfriend issues back home. We look at Tamu’s giant red, preferida (preferred one) photo album from her last year of high school.

We learn the origins Tamu’s first boyfriend, Phil who was at her prom but their paths didn’t cross until a year later.

Mallory’s prom was not “Prom,” but a “Gala” because artists needed a different 4-letter word to describe their dance. Mallory’s dad made both of her dresses; a blue camo, floor-length number for the junior “gala”, and a renaissance dress for the senior “gala”.

Tamu’s senior prom theme was: Save the Best For Last (yes, after Vanessa Williams’ hit ballad)

Mallory’s junior “gala” theme was:  The Game of Life (yes, like the board game)

Mallory’s senior “gala” theme was: Masquerade (because most proms, oops, “galas” have that theme)

They also examine the struggles of not having a boyfriend for prom. For these two, it seems that prom was the beginning of their non-traditional lifestyles. 

Moral to the story: Going to prom solo is okay.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Lady Bird is Real Women Have Curves for white people.
  • The lack of boyfriends for both Mallory and Tamu throughout high school.
  • The history of stereotypical foods.
  • Pressure of being a teen.
  • A camouflage dress might not get you on the best dressed list.

Apologies: We were REALLY loving pretzels during the recording of this episode. Grab some yourself and crunch along with us!

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Artwork by Kerriann Art: https://www.instagram.com/artbykerriann/

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