Is Prom Important? Thoughts by Mallory.

I tried looking up the history of prom this week. There were articles from Bustle, Time, and the all-time lazy favorite, Wikipedia.

I was genuinely curious about why these things have been going on for so long, why there is still pressure on teenagers for them, and what the patriarchy had to do with it (a constant question, honestly).

It was sort of what I expected. Back in the day (the technical term), there were grand balls for ladies where they’d be brought out officially into public, essentially a time that would declare that this woman was now available to charm into marrying. Since balls didn’t stick around forever, and public schools were The Thing, to me it made sense that they continued to use the same sort of idea, but for everyone to play pretend that they were adults because, hey, you dress up nice, maybe have a fancy dinner, have a nice car…

But the proms, from what I’ve read, went from simply wearing your Sunday Best to rather extravagant extremes. While Tamu and I paid small amounts to look great, and may have had those around us create their own dresses/tuxes, the typical high schools that my friends went to? Some people were spending $500 on a dress!

And that’s where I ask the question: Is a prom so important to spend such a fortune?

I can see it from both points. This is a day for most teenagers that is a passage of going into adulthood. It should be enjoyed, celebrated, and, quite frankly, can be quite the ego boost when you’ve bought your clothes and are surrounded by the fancy attire. Although Tamu and I didn’t have Prom King/Queen, that’s probably fun, too. Everyone voting democratically for a monarchy. Plus, tradition. It’s been going on for so many years, it’s a notable event in every single novel/movie/television show that depicts high school students. And it’s a popular enough tradition that it’s basically world-wide.

However, it is also…just one night that, while I personally remember it being fun, it wasn’t the highlight of my youth. It isn’t in the top ten moments of my life. And I cannot imagine spending so much money on something before starting college–nothing like starting out in debt to more debt (although, maybe people would argue that’s just America. *bah-dum-dum tishhhh*). I guess my main point here would be that if I hadn’t gone to prom, I don’t think my life would have changed significantly.

And yet… I guess I’m still in favor of prom when it comes down to it. I have seen some really amazing things come out of this tradition, mostly as it becomes less traditional. For instance, prom is also considered a time to show off yourself with your couple. While this can be too much pressure for those of us without a partner, many LGBTQ teenagers are going with their partners.

In the end, the importance of prom is what you make it, I suppose. Tamu and I had a great time with friends, dancing and laughing. I have heard stories of terrible proms and fantastic proms. I know people who married the person they went to prom with. If you didn’t go, it probably didn’t change your life for the worse. And if you did? You’ve got a memory long faded that will emerge once again at your 10/20/30 year reunion, complete with photos you’d probably well forget anyway.

What about your prom? Let us know if you had a Pretty in Pink situation, or if you forewent the event to watching a film instead.

No, Blaine. What About Prom?!

Just in time for prom season! Mallory and Tamu revisit their prom(s) in this week’s flutter.

Tamu only had one prom in comparison to Mallory’s multiple proms. Tamu’s prom date was supposed to be her extremely handsome German cousin but he cancelled due to girlfriend issues back home. We look at Tamu’s giant red, preferida (preferred one) photo album from her last year of high school.

We learn the origins Tamu’s first boyfriend, Phil who was at her prom but their paths didn’t cross until a year later.

Mallory’s prom was not “Prom,” but a “Gala” because artists needed a different 4-letter word to describe their dance. Mallory’s dad made both of her dresses; a blue camo, floor-length number for the junior “gala”, and a renaissance dress for the senior “gala”.

Tamu’s senior prom theme was: Save the Best For Last (yes, after Vanessa Williams’ hit ballad)

Mallory’s junior “gala” theme was:  The Game of Life (yes, like the board game)

Mallory’s senior “gala” theme was: Masquerade (because most proms, oops, “galas” have that theme)

They also examine the struggles of not having a boyfriend for prom. For these two, it seems that prom was the beginning of their non-traditional lifestyles. 

Moral to the story: Going to prom solo is okay.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Lady Bird is Real Women Have Curves for white people.
  • The lack of boyfriends for both Mallory and Tamu throughout high school.
  • The history of stereotypical foods.
  • Pressure of being a teen.
  • A camouflage dress might not get you on the best dressed list.

Apologies: We were REALLY loving pretzels during the recording of this episode. Grab some yourself and crunch along with us!

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Duckie vs Blaine

The podcast is out, and so is the main question: Duckie or Blaine?

This question has been asked since the film first came out. The ending had been changed from the script because “she would never choose Duckie”, Duckie was based off of a gay friend, etc. But when it comes down to it, who would you choose?

Tamu said Duckie. I said Blaine (after saying no one). And there were some amazing comments, one of which said to choose the record store owner, so I guess she should have written the movie instead.

//www.instagram.com/embed.js

IF you haven’t yet, make your comments on our Instagram post to put in your two cents! And maybe make a comment or two about the prom dress she wore…

Episode 3: I Choo-Choo-Choose You

In this week’s episode, Tamu & Mallory watch each other’s favorite teen movies, Ever After: A Cinderella Story and Pretty in Pink.

If you haven’t guessed, Ever After was Mallory’s jam back in the day; so much so, she wrote an essay about it in the 7th grade. She felt more closely aligned to the Cinderella character, however, much to her chagrin, Tamu found Mallory’s tendencies to be more Prince leaning…she was not pleased. Tamu was annoyed with the end of the movie because Game of Thrones training has taught her that you must kill your enemies so they don’t come back for revenge; yet, The Baroness lives.

Meanwhile, Mallory had some serious opinions about Tamu’s choice, Pretty in Pink; mainly that Molly Ringwald’s character settled.

Both ladies learn that prom is the most important event in the known universe.

Moral to the Story: A relationship doesn’t start in 5 days, it takes a least 6 or 7 days.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Tamu saw Black Panther
  • Yertle the Turtle
  • Sex and the City stole the shoe scene proposal from Ever After
  • Other 2000s movies Mallory needs to watch
  • Love Actually and Laura Linney’s choice
  • Mallory LOVES Pride and Prejudice 2005
  • Duties: sacrificing your wants/needs for others
  • 80s movies are problematic AF
  • Realistic stats about High School romance (it ain’t pretty)
  • Tamu equates relationships to Mary J. Blige’s song, Seven Days

Apologies: First there were sound issues. It will be better next time. Second, Tamu tries and fails doing an Australian accent…sorry, Australia.

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Unsolicited Advice From Your Single Friend: Dating

There comes a time in every singleton’s life that you start getting advice from everyone around you that isn’t single. It’s usually from those that are perfectly happy couples that, after you answer their question of what your current dating status, they click their tongues and say, “Don’t worry, it will happen! Have you tried ____?” And you want to rip their throats out because they brought the shit up in the first place and you didn’t ASK for their advice when you answered their nosy question.

This is why I now say, “Happily single!”

As someone who honestly doesn’t talk too much of love in her daily life (yet has a podcast about it), I decided that perhaps it was about time for us singletons to take over the advice, to talk about the problematic things we constantly see in long-term relationships. The things that make us say, “Thank the gods we don’t have to deal with that.”

Be prepared for some wonderful generalizations.

Today, it’s about dating.

I often hear that when people have been together for over a year, things start to get routine. And depending on where you’re at in life, you could be married, with kids, with dog, or just simply by yourselves (that includes cats because, let’s face it, cats can live without us (unless you’re my roommate’s cat, Oliver, the cat that must be wrapped around your neck at all times)).

When you’re single, you’ve got plenty of time to live and life is never boring. I’m here to tell you how to spice things up!

Have a date night at least once every two weeks. And don’t just go to some restaurant every time. There are GroupOn’s for a reason. Go to a cooking class, try wake boarding, dabble in sky diving, volunteer to walk dogs or play with cats at a shelter. Avoid the painting pub classes; you end up with two pieces of similar art work, so now what are you going to do?

You could also take a kink sex class or something. I’m not saying you have to go all out into BDSM or fetishes (although, if you both are hot to trot, two thumbs up!). But it can be fun, you learn new things, and nothing says I love you more than staying open in your communication about the bedroom.

In fact, I hear about the bedroom being a problem frequently in long-term relationships. Better make the kink sex class your top priority.

Have you tried making cider? Have you tried ice cream tastings? Going to a psychic? Therapy?

That last one is for those that have communication issues in general, so it isn’t necessarily for everyone.

The point is, your bland couple’s lifestyle doesn’t have to be bland. And while kids do add a special spice to your life that only those that have them can speak to, just go on a date already — and ask your single friends where the best places to go are. We’re living it up 24-7.

Flutter: We are the Toyota Camry of Podcasts

Mallory and Tamu let the cards decide whether Bad at Love Podcast survives.

Tarot reader extraordinaire Sarah gives a reading about the success or failure of the podcast. The ladies learn that Bad at Love Podcast will be a significant change catalyst in their lives. They also discover they will not be the next “2 Dope Queens”, rather, they will be mid-level successful; like a Toyota Camry.

Moral to the Story: We can’t all be Mercedes Benz. Mid-level sedans offer comfort, efficiency and heated leather seats.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • The Women’s March
  • Breaking patterns and effecting change
  • Sarah got a headache (the good kind)

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Episode 2, Part 2: You Deserve

In part two of the second episode, it is Tamu’s turn to see what her love future holds. Through the cards, special guest Sarah Penn, tarot reader extraordinaire, takes Tamu on a journey through her past, present, and potential future.

Tamu recognizes that after all of the punishment and blame she has perpetrated upon herself for relationships past, she actually does deserve love, happiness, and joy.

The universe’s message is clear: “The drought will be over soon…so Tamu has some planting to do in her “garden”.

Moral to the Story: We all deserve to be loved, to love, and to live a life fulfilled; whatever form it takes and however long it takes to get there is just fine.

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Flutter: Wakanda 4 EVA

Tamu, Mallory, and special guest Sarah discuss the cultural phenomenon that is “Black Panther”. The episode was recorded the weekend “Black Panther” hit theaters and the excitement expressed still rings true a billion+ dollars later.

This time they are late and timely with a pop culture reference because the new Avengers movie comes out April 27th!

Moral to the Story: Wakanda forever, duh!

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Michael B. Jordan vs. Chadwick Boseman vs. Mahershala Ali
  • Discussions about race occurring as a result of “Black Panther”

P.S. At the time of the recording, Tamu had not seen the movie. We are proud to say, she has since seen it twice and cried at various points during each viewing.

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Episode 2, Part 1: Thieves in the House of Love

In this week’s episode, Mallory & Tamu are joined by their first special guest, Sarah Penn, for a look at what is in the Tarot cards for them in relation to love.

Sarah is an amazingly talented woman and gifted tarot card reader who lovingly donated a Saturday to give the ladies a reading, and also hit them with profound, optimistic, and meaningful insights related to love. For example, “The rightness of being in someone’s space is love.”

Mallory is on deck (get it?!) first and her cups runneth over. Which means she had a lot of cups in her spread (that is a good thing). She shares her wisdom from her recent travels that marriage could now be an option for her because has come to understand that it truly is a partnership.

At the end of the reading, it was clear that the universe knew its audience and provided the most specific reading to the most literal person in the world, Mallory.

Sarah pretty much confirmed the theme of Bad at Love Podcast, “Love is not going to look like what we think it should.”

Moral of the Story: The picket fence is not going to happen. It is possible to be connected in other ways.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Valentine’s Day
  • Everyone has baggage, but it is your own, not anyone else’s
  • It is important to stay in your power
  • To have/find love, you have to take care of yourself
  • Mallory’s nail biting
  • Being head ass in love

BTW: The episode title reminds Tamu of Raze’s Break 4 Love

Flutter: Mallory Watches The Bachelor

In their very first mini episode, Tamu thought it would be a great idea to make Mallory watch the controversial “After the Final Rose” in which Arie breaks up with Minnesota-grown, Becca in split screen.

As with most pop culture phenomena, they are months late…so enjoy this trip back to March.

Moral of the Story: Becca, you did nothing wrong, so stop asking, “what did I do wrong”?

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Chris Harrison is evil.
  • Arie is a giant tool.
  • Potential Minnesota attractions new Bachelorette Becca will be taking her contesticles to during her family visit.

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