Episode 26: Bad@Love and St. Paul Filmcast Watch “The Heiress”

We attempt to put on our film critics caps and watch the 1949 classic, “The Heiress” with actual film buff, Nick from St. Paul Filmcast.

Movie Moral to the Story: Based on this movie and countless other movies, it is easier to love a pretty person than and ugly person.

Our Moral to the Story: Awkward can be beautiful.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Get to Know Us: What moving setting would we live in?
  • Nick would definitely not live in the DC Universe. He might choose living in Middle Earth but we are all unclear as to whether they have indoor plumbing.
  • Aragorn is like 150!
  • More on Lord of the Rings: Mallory lost most her Elvish language skills. I guess it is true if you don’t use it, you lose it.
  • Tamu said she would live in a Nora Ephron movie, but really she meant Nancy Meyers. Who wouldn’t want to live in Meryl Streep’s “It’s Complicated” house?
  • Mallory would live in a musical.
  • None of us opted for living in a period piece or the Marvel Universe. Well, maybe Wakanda.
  • Tamu notices Montgomery Clift’s bumper curls.
  • Catherine’s dad was a really good doctor and gave himself a spot on diagnosis and prognosis with just a stethoscope!
  • Olivia de Havilland and her sister Joan Fontaine had a wicked sibling rivalry.
  • Move over Spinster, there’s a new word in town: Thornback – an unmarried woman over age 26.
  • Nick actually READ Game of Thrones.
  • Nick explains the tricks of back and white movies.
  • Turns out Mallory has an ally in the Love Actually debate. Too bad Nick missed that episode.
  • Morris’ unromantic song, “Plaisir d’amour. Lyrics are: The joy of love lasts but a moment. The pain of love lasts all the life long. SWOON!
  • Copyright Infringement: Elvis probs stole the melody of “Can’t Help Falling in Love with You” from that awesome French “love” song.
  • #WePodcastLikeThis: It was late, but we remembered.

Podcast Shout Out:

Nick Palodichuk is not just a knowledgeable film dude, lover of comics, and podcast host. He is also a talent artist! Check out his graphic novel, The Green Way – Vol. 1. Volumes 2 and 3 will be out in the fall.

Flutter: Legolas Learns from his Past Mistakes…Without Mallory

Former love of Mallory’s life, Orlando Bloom is now betrothed to Katy Perry. Those two crazy kids have decided to the take the slow road to marriage by having a long engagement. We discuss whether this is just Hottie Bloom’s ploy to wait for Mallory to run into him at a “Con” and steal his heart or if he and Katy are just doing a super healthy thing by taking their time.

Moral to the Story: Getting married to fix an issue in a relationship won’t work.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Mallory learns about the movie, Black Rain with Michael Douglas. Tamu might be confusing the plot with the Law & Order episode with Laura Linney.
  • Tamu’s life with Mallory is like being with Encino Man.
  • Taking a long engagement is pretty healthy.
  • Katy Perry & T-Swift are friends again.
  • Tamu explains Celine Dion’s romance with her husband Renee.
  • Marriage being a legal contract takes the romance out of the construct.
  • 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way.
  • Mallory devises a test for relationship longevity; if you can travel together, get married.
  • Welcome to our new superfan Jen!
  • Sorry, Jim.

Episode 25: My Life is the MMMBop Song!

This week we dig into the results of our emotional intelligence tests!

Moral to the Story: Not everyone thinks like you.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Get To Know Us: we talk about childhood songs. Tamu blows Mallory away with the disco version of “C is for Cookie” off of Sesame Street Disco Fever. Mallory remembers the racist version of “This Land is Your Land” from junior high school.
  • We can’t help but feel we broke our lovely EQ coach, Hannah.
  • #WePodcastLikeThis with Dave Matthews’ Dreaming Tree Wine with the hard to read poem.
  • Mallory’s amazingly high EQ scores would be even higher were it not for her life challenges last year, but things are on the up!
  • Tamu’s optimism score is 45, because this world is a piece of shit.
  • Mallory realizes she has mental health privilege.
  • Getting the results was nerve wrecking.
  • Mallory’s version of flexibility is not being a doormat.
  • Tamu is optimistic for everyone except herself.
  • Question of the Day: How do you become optimistic in a shitty world?
  • You cannot have a perspective in reality & be optimistic, you are lying to yourself.
  • Scores reflected the environments that Mallory & Tamu grew up in.
  • Mallory talks about her mom’s insane optimism that leeched into her psyche which is positive — even if she doesn’t see it that way.
  • Mallory saved a jumper’s life.
  • MMMBop has lyrics!
  • Note to Dave Matthews: We don’t understand you!
  • Mallory’s family issues have gotten better but, when it comes to dating relationships, she has to work on trust.

 

Flutter: What Colors are the Emotional Strengths that Moved Your Cheese?

This week we talk about the pending results of our emotional intelligence tests.

Moral to the Story: EQ tests are an indicator of where you are today, your traits can change over time, that is called “growth”.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Tamu thinks her results will be the worst.
  • Jim has to edit our last podcast episode if Tamu and Mallory find out they are not compatible and kill each other.
  • Mallory feels personality tests are used as excuses by people who never choose to grow.
  • Tamu wants to retake Myers-Briggs now that she is on Prozac.
  • NEW EQ TEST by Tamu & Mallory!
  • Tamu & Mallory don’t want to be helper/supportive people all the time.

 

Episode 24: Maybe it’s Maybelline or Just Shellac and Paper Mache

Thanks to The Cut’s article, “How Many Bones Would You Break to Get Laid?” Tamu learns all about Incels and the lengths they will go to reach the impossible dream of being a “Chad”.

Moral to the Story: You are beautiful as you are unless you are a terrible person.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Getting to know us: What is your silly aspiration? For Tamu, it would be to marry Idris Elba. For Mallory it would be wine and cheese with Jeff Goldblum. Since that seemed realistic, she switched it to having Neil Patrick Harris’s baby.
  • #WePodcastLikeThis: It was butt-ass hot while recording,  but we managed to pull it off!
  • What is an Incel? Dudes who self categorize as involuntarily celibate.
  • Plastic surgery for men is frowned upon.
  • These dudes have terrible self-esteem. They feel women don’t pick them because they are ugly.
  • Chads” are the male beauty standard in the Incel community; they are either a lumberjack, a vampire or a pretty boy.
  • There are Incel forums where they Photoshop one another’s photos to look more “Chad-like”.
  • Basically they have body dysmorphia.
  • Therapy is SO very important.
  • Most Incels are not white men.
  • The glass ceiling for Incels is the friend zone.
  • There are no true 8-10s. Listen to episode 17 where we explain the science of sex appeal.
  • We are all basically 3-5s
  • These dudes probably don’t wash their legs.
  • It’s all a power grab. Incels could overthrow the Chads and change/break the patriarchy.
  • Maybe the strategy is like the Irish who assimilated in America by wearing blackface and making fun of black people…it is easier to go with the status quo and be accepted rather than a breaker of chains.
  • Mallory loves Ringo Starr.
  • Why do men want giant balls?
  • Dr. Eppley – providing judgement-free surgery since 1993.

Podcast Promo Shout Outs:

 

 

Flutter: A Glamorous Barf & Fall

Have you even pulled a Sandra Dee from Grease to attract a boy/girl? We talk about the times we tried to put our freakum dresses to bag dudes and the amazing fails that occurred as a result.

Moral to the Story: It never goes well when you try to change yourself for others.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Check your shoes for cardboard.
  • Tamu’s Hulu Show not in development: The Handslut’s Tale.
  • We did not meet the band members from Justin Timberlake’s 20/20 Experience Tour.
  • Mallory’s Terrible Awful Fancy Night Out.
  • Mini Moral: Always eat while you drink.
  • The first time…Mallory shaved her legs: her mom forced her to stay in the shower until she did it.
  • Microblading and henna.
  • Tamu trims and plucks to go to the OB/GYN.
  • Extreme weight loss doesn’t always work…you still gotta fix what is within.

Episode 23: And for Love’s Sake…Reduce your Expectations

This week we talk sex, relationships and what cheating means thanks to the help of Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert episode with psychotherapist Esther Perel.

Moral to the Story: Strive to the the best human you can be; it is ok to be vulnerable and communicate.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Get to know Tamu and Mallory: Tamu flips the script and asks Mallory the hard hitting question that dominated the internet for maybe 3 whole days; do you wash your legs when you take a shower? Some key takeaway’s:
  1. Not washing your body is gross.
  2. Whore’s baths are perfectly fine.
  3. Loofahs and scrubbies are good.
  4. Bar soap washing.
  5. Washcloths are gross.
  6. Tamu only does a bar soap wash in cases of emergency.
  7. T. Swift shaves and therefore doesn’t wash her legs.
  8. Friction is needed to get clean…among other things.
  9. You should not have to Google how to take a shower!
  • #WePodcastLikeThis – we are getting better at this
  • Esther Perel’s TED Talk on infidelity .
  • Cheating has a ripple effect. It impacts not just the two people cheating; it also impacts your community, future prospects.
  • Cheating is what men did.
  • Finding “the one” has more meaning today than it did in the past.
  • Mallory has staunch opinions things.
  • Today we live isolated lives but create a curated life on social media.
  • Relationships are work. To grow together, you have to communicate.
  • Question of the Day: Did our view of cheating change after listening to Esther Perel?
  • Sex is just an act. We add the flair with our imagination.
  • 100% Facts: We can’t expect people to live up to the standards that we set up in our minds.
  • In the U.S., there is not a thoughtful approach to sexuality.
  • Sex Ed in the U.S. is about plumbing, not the emotional aspect.
  • Sex is considered dirty in the U.S.. It is not open for discussion.
  • Education is key!
  • Abortion Discussion Bottom Line: Abortion is a fucking choice!
  • Mallory’s Dick Tangent: Don’t put a USB charger up your penis!
  • It is not easy to be vulnerable without the tools and education to understand.
  • Life Goals from Holocaust Survivors: Take all the sadness of your family’s historical trauma and live your best life.

Podcast Promo Shout Outs:

 

Flutter: Always be Prepared to Cheat

This week we talk about cheating and what is means to each of us, respectively.

Moral to the Story: It is imperative to have open communication in a relationship.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Is the old adage, “Once a cheater, always a cheater” true?
  • Tamu questions her experience of cheating on White 1 (still getting the damn names confused!)
  • A chair falls in the middle of the episode!

Episode 22: 84 Invites: Jim & Ben’s Wedding Reunion Special

Right before they popped off to the land of tea & crumpets, Jim and Ben stopped by for one last in-person recording session to talk about their wedding. Apologies in advance to the Brits for our terrible English accents.

Moral to the Story: Marriage has to be based on fake news otherwise no one would do it.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Ben explains the arduous emigration process.
  • Tamu & Mallory cried at the courthouse wedding video.
  • San Diego Shout Outs: To the wedding venue, Bahia Resort Hotel and the runner-up, Top of the Bay.
  • Deep Sadness Moment: Mallory learns Orlando Bloom is engaged to Katy Perry.
  • WTF Moment: Ben learns Orlando Bloom is English!
  • Ben loves Katy Perry so much she is the only artist he listens to offline.
  • Mallory’s elvish journals.
  • Ben is taking his Tolkien collection to England.
  • Ben feels that Elijah Wood should be English and/or gay.
  • Question of the Day: Do the English speak proper English?
  • Speaking of Weddings: Joelle of Mouse and Weens had close to 200 people at her wedding.
  • Ben’s dream wedding came to fruition, the feeling was not mutual for Jim.
  • Friends/guests forget a wedding is not about them.
  • Jim & Ben spent 10 hours putting together their seating chart to avoid “landmines”.
  • For Jim, the bigness of the wedding (84 guests) was overwhelming .
  • Jim’s 80-line excel spreadsheet.
  • Jim, the Consummate Wedding Planner: Jim broke all of the wedding activities into 15 minute increments.
  • Toast strategies for when you have four (4) of them.
  • Would they do a big wedding again? No, however, for each of them watching one another walk down the aisle with their respective families made it worth it.
  • Lessons Learned: Jim will now be a horrible wedding guest.
  • All about the music: Jim’s OCD came out creating the reception playlist and Tamu felt a way about being excluded from the music selection.
  • Shifting Perspectives: Ben’s parents’ progression from him burning in hell to full acceptance of his being gay.
  • You get 1 min: Jim’s explanation for the champagne toast.
  • A moment of Zen: Jim’s mani/pedi relaxation moment.
  • Tamu won’t be allowed into Britain with her bad cockney accent.

Jim & Ben’s Guide to Wedding Survival:

  1. Clearly communicate your needs and wants.
  2. Decide the size of wedding up front and do not deviate.
  3. Agree together on how scripted you want things to be.
  4. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
  5. Don’t freak out about your friends being idiots, they are just excited.
  6. Don’t settle on venues. Take time and look around.

Podcast Shout Outs from Across the Pond:

  • Check out The Thirst Podcast for pop culture, news, reviews, and discussion.
  • Listen to Her Moment in History where hosts Grace and Michelle give famous, infamous and not-so-well know women a time to shine.

 

Flutter: Flying Solo at a Wedding

It is Wedding Season!!!

Tamu and Mallory talk about going to and being in weddings as a single person.

Moral to the Story: Go. Do it. You will be fine. Also, be nice to the other solo fliers at the wedding.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Tamu goes to Jim & Ben’s wedding.
  • Mallory got a sword as best man.
  • Mallory’s new side hustle: Geek Chic Wedding Planner
  • Mallory and the groomsman, a first dance tale.
  • Ambiverts unite!
  • The More You Know: Want to feel fabulous? Go to a gay wedding.
  • New Podcast Idea: The Sad Expert – could work for sadness and seasonal affective disorder.