Flutter: Making it Through the Wilderness

Join Tamu and Mallory as they recount their very first times.

Moral to the Story: Have that sex test results convo before diving into the festivities.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Tamu and Mallory were both late bloomers.
  • We are conditioned via pop culture to believe you should be between ages 15 – 18 when you loose your virginity.
  • Old men are gross and disgusting.
  • Mallory planned her first time and went for it with gusto and actually enjoyed herself.
  • Tamu’s planned first time was with Phil and was supposed to be in Atlantic City.
  • Tamu’s REAL first time was still with Phil on Mother’s Day on the floor of his parents’ house.
  • B@L Concept: The Reluctant Virgin
  • There is a lot of planning and prep involved in anal sex.

 

Episode 34: 36 Questions to Idris Elba

This week Tamu & Mallory discuss 36 Questions to Love and how their answering these questions over wine in 2015 laid the foundation for their friendship.

Moral to the Story: You can use these questions to develop a foundation regardless of relationship.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Get to Know Us: Have you used scents to try an attract people?
  • Perfumes are bad for you.
  • Tamu loved original Dolce & Gabanna
  • Scent trails – that time on the jetway when someone farted.
  • Chemical smells gives Mallory a migraine.
  • #WePodcastLikeThis
  • The Key to 36 Questions: Be open-minded.
  • 4 minutes of looking into someone’s eyes in silence it too much for Tamu.
  • For our true crime friends: you may be able to detect sociopathy and psychopathy with these questions.
  • These questions can be a good way to gauge someone’s open-mindedness.
  • There is a potential for us to to make compromises even with these questions because we see what we want to see.
  • Tamu wonders if these questions would have worked with Wights 1 and 2 and determines, probably not.
  • Follow your intuition. It is OK to be alone.
  • Make good climatic choices.
  • Try these 36 questions on a speed date.
  • Idris Elba

Flutter: Breakup Escape

New York Magazine’s, The Cut article, “8 TV Shows to Watch After a Breakup” sparked a lovely conversation about TV shows watched by Tamu and Mallory during the dark times of relationships end.

Moral to the Story: Breakup shows are good for a time, but, when you end up hating them, it means you have moved on.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

 

 

Episode 33: Braving the Wilderness

As a part of Tamu’s personal growth journey, she chose to read Brene Brown’s, Braving the Wilderness then thought it would be good idea to read for the podcast at some point. The timing was astounding, as it was read during a week of mass shootings at the end of July into August and the book served as basis to try and understand why these tragedies continue to occur and how we can work in our own small ways to make change.

Moral to the Story: Listen to try to understand in the same way we want to be understood.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Get to Know Us: Being in a relationship with a person of color. Awareness of the whites to issues of others. Respect when your partner draws attention to situations.
  • Mallory hates slap bracelets.
  • Drink of the Day: Tinto de Verano
  • What is the wilderness? Standing in your truth and not wavering from it.
  • It is important to set up boundaries for yourself.
  • We are living in a giant feedback loop.
  • Loneliness stems from fear & anger.
  • We are where we are today out of fear.
  • Global and Domestic Terrorism: A Discussion
  • Dehumanization
  • Mallory is losing her empathy for gunmen.
  • We are all able to recognize and stop it.
  • Conflict transformation: Help me understand.
  • Mallory is always on a rampage for justice, to hell with small victories.
  • Tamu is working on being joy-filled but she is busy foreboding joy.
  • Be courageous and vulnerable.
  • Express your joy, it will make others happy.

Flutter: Kittenfishing

Tamu and Mallory discussed the lesser known, but all to commonplace concept of kittenfishing thanks to the Huffington Post article, “If You’re Dating, You’ve Almost Undoubtedly Been Kittenfished.”

Moral to the Story: You don’t have to lie about who you are–we will find out.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Kittenfishing was created by Hinge. It means, someone who presents themselves unrealistically using Photoshop, older, albeit younger pictures, etc.
  • Calling it “kittenfishing” makes it sound less insidious.
  • Mallory finds herself entertaining.

Episode 32: Justice Flowers with a Side of Ranch

Hannah joins us to talk about her Social Justice Book Club.

Moral to the Story: It is important to keep lines of communication open to strengthen relationships.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

Local Business Shout-Out: Sociable Cider Werks.

Get to Know Us: Weird Food Combos – Hannah loves ranch on everything! Mallory eats Fritos with cottage cheese. Tamu eats most things out of a bowl with a spoon.

#WePodcastLikeThis – baby shark edition

How do you maintain relationships when you have divergent opinions on politics & justice?

One method: Meet for coffee to talk about politics/social identity.

Have ground rules.

Look for connections and points to open up.

Flutter: Social Justice Book Club with Hannah C.

Our Emotional Intelligence consultant, Hannah (see Episode 25: My Life is the Mmmbop Song) launched a Social Justice Book Club at the Golden Valley Public Library in Minneapolis. We talk how Hannah selects books for her book club and get insights on her motivation for starting it.

Moral to the Story: Change can effect not just family, but those around you.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

Future Books for the Club:

Past Book Club Selections:

Get the Upcoming Book Club List:

  • Email Hannah: hcarney@umn.edu

 

 

Episode 31: I See London, I See France…Alone

Tiffany from (A)broad in Education and super special guest Thuan (check out his foodie Instagram @travel2f00d) join us to discuss being American while traveling solo.

Moral to the Story: Travel makes you different.

Other Fun Topics Discuss:

  • Tamu is traveling to Europe.
  • Tiffany has two volumes of photos from her trips.
  • Tamu’s flight anxiety.
  • Group consensus: there is plenty to do to keep you distracted on flights.
  • Geography.
  • Tiffany’s Collage: Smoking in Amsterdam
  • Food tastes better in their origin countries.
  • Thuan Recommends: Churchill War Museum
  • Feeling Triggered: Tamu passes on the Heineken Museum because Wight 1 used to drink it. Tiffany suggests going to exorcise the legacy of Wight 1.
  • Tamu is taking a wig to change her persona in Amsterdam.
  • Hair changes your personality.
  • Tiffany suggests wearing a wig throughout the trip.
  • Le Paris Noir Tour.

      Travel & Race & Safety:

  • Don’t read the comments when you Google about being black and travelling.
  • Being American carries more weight than blackness.
  • Travel in Paris.
  • Tales from the Camino de Santiago.
  • Being American can also make you feel like an outsider aside from race/ethnicity.
  • Passports: Concept of US passport as reparations.
  • Head Scratcher Question: Are all Americans colonizers?
  • Americans have a privilege abroad just by being American.
  • Is it radical to travel?

Episode 30: Shit Happens During the Day, Literally

Once again, it started as an innocent Get To Know Us question and turned into a full-blown episode. We are joined by Tiffany from (A)broad in Education and super special guest Thuan (check out his foodie Instagram @travel2f00d) for a robust discussion about the ridiculous expense of bras, underwear cleanliness/rotation, and going commando.

Moral to the Story: Buy new underwear every six months, don’t be like us and have them for years.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • The most money spent on a bra.
  • Victoria’s Secret was a bra/panty training ground for most of us.
  • Tiffany was wearing the wrong sized bra because they were her mom’s.
  • Tiffany also didn’t want boobs.
  • Training bras.
  • Tamu is going to London to see Jim.
  • The consensus is that she will get laid.
  • Local Business Shout-out: Allure Intimate Apparel.
  • Nips are not a thing Tamu wants.
  • Poor Thuan is mortified.
  • No one will let Tamu finish her story.
  • Third Love bras are hella expensive.
  • Dudes just have to buy a 4-pack of Jockey underwear and are good to go.
  • Tamu realizes her boobs are sagging because she is old and not because of mammograms.
  • Thuan suggests going commando.
  • A study from Tommy John shows Americans wear the same underwear multiple times in a row.
  • Bad@Love PSA: Wash your clothes.
  • Bad@Love PSA that we shouldn’t need to remind you about: WASH YOUR PAN AFTER YOUR COOK/SEASON CHICKEN!!
  • Mallory wore someone else’s panties as a teen.
  • Bad@Love Pro-Tip: Wear underwear inside out when borrowing.
  • Bad@Love Saves the Planet: Go commando to save the landfills.
  • H&M textile bins.
  • Mallory’s sports bra is at the end of the world.
  • Correction: We meant Abercrombie & Fitch, not American Apparel.
  • Mindblown: What if we are meant to be funky?
  • Do hipsters wash their legs?
  • Americans have a different immune system.

Asia According to Thuan:

  • In Asia, you have different types of ice.
  • Drink the ice that has holes in it. Don’t drink the ice that is chipped off from a block.
  • Ask for ice on the side.
  • Drink bottled or canned.

Flutter: Maintaining Relationships During Travels

Tamu is off to Europe for two whole months! Tiffany from (A)broad in Education joins Mallory as they talk about the difficulties of maintaining relationships while traveling, after traveling, and how a lot of it can be in your head when you simply realize that life happens.

Moral to the Story: Keeping in touch can be difficult. But when you stay connected, life flourishes.