Episode 24: Maybe it’s Maybelline or Just Shellac and Paper Mache

Thanks to The Cut’s article, “How Many Bones Would You Break to Get Laid?” Tamu learns all about Incels and the lengths they will go to reach the impossible dream of being a “Chad”.

Moral to the Story: You are beautiful as you are unless you are a terrible person.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Getting to know us: What is your silly aspiration? For Tamu, it would be to marry Idris Elba. For Mallory it would be wine and cheese with Jeff Goldblum. Since that seemed realistic, she switched it to having Neil Patrick Harris’s baby.
  • #WePodcastLikeThis: It was butt-ass hot while recording,  but we managed to pull it off!
  • What is an Incel? Dudes who self categorize as involuntarily celibate.
  • Plastic surgery for men is frowned upon.
  • These dudes have terrible self-esteem. They feel women don’t pick them because they are ugly.
  • Chads” are the male beauty standard in the Incel community; they are either a lumberjack, a vampire or a pretty boy.
  • There are Incel forums where they Photoshop one another’s photos to look more “Chad-like”.
  • Basically they have body dysmorphia.
  • Therapy is SO very important.
  • Most Incels are not white men.
  • The glass ceiling for Incels is the friend zone.
  • There are no true 8-10s. Listen to episode 17 where we explain the science of sex appeal.
  • We are all basically 3-5s
  • These dudes probably don’t wash their legs.
  • It’s all a power grab. Incels could overthrow the Chads and change/break the patriarchy.
  • Maybe the strategy is like the Irish who assimilated in America by wearing blackface and making fun of black people…it is easier to go with the status quo and be accepted rather than a breaker of chains.
  • Mallory loves Ringo Starr.
  • Why do men want giant balls?
  • Dr. Eppley – providing judgement-free surgery since 1993.

Podcast Promo Shout Outs:

 

 

Flutter: A Glamorous Barf & Fall

Have you even pulled a Sandra Dee from Grease to attract a boy/girl? We talk about the times we tried to put our freakum dresses to bag dudes and the amazing fails that occurred as a result.

Moral to the Story: It never goes well when you try to change yourself for others.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Check your shoes for cardboard.
  • Tamu’s Hulu Show not in development: The Handslut’s Tale.
  • We did not meet the band members from Justin Timberlake’s 20/20 Experience Tour.
  • Mallory’s Terrible Awful Fancy Night Out.
  • Mini Moral: Always eat while you drink.
  • The first time…Mallory shaved her legs: her mom forced her to stay in the shower until she did it.
  • Microblading and henna.
  • Tamu trims and plucks to go to the OB/GYN.
  • Extreme weight loss doesn’t always work…you still gotta fix what is within.

Episode 23: And for Love’s Sake…Reduce your Expectations

This week we talk sex, relationships and what cheating means thanks to the help of Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert episode with psychotherapist Esther Perel.

Moral to the Story: Strive to the the best human you can be; it is ok to be vulnerable and communicate.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Get to know Tamu and Mallory: Tamu flips the script and asks Mallory the hard hitting question that dominated the internet for maybe 3 whole days; do you wash your legs when you take a shower? Some key takeaway’s:
  1. Not washing your body is gross.
  2. Whore’s baths are perfectly fine.
  3. Loofahs and scrubbies are good.
  4. Bar soap washing.
  5. Washcloths are gross.
  6. Tamu only does a bar soap wash in cases of emergency.
  7. T. Swift shaves and therefore doesn’t wash her legs.
  8. Friction is needed to get clean…among other things.
  9. You should not have to Google how to take a shower!
  • #WePodcastLikeThis – we are getting better at this
  • Esther Perel’s TED Talk on infidelity .
  • Cheating has a ripple effect. It impacts not just the two people cheating; it also impacts your community, future prospects.
  • Cheating is what men did.
  • Finding “the one” has more meaning today than it did in the past.
  • Mallory has staunch opinions things.
  • Today we live isolated lives but create a curated life on social media.
  • Relationships are work. To grow together, you have to communicate.
  • Question of the Day: Did our view of cheating change after listening to Esther Perel?
  • Sex is just an act. We add the flair with our imagination.
  • 100% Facts: We can’t expect people to live up to the standards that we set up in our minds.
  • In the U.S., there is not a thoughtful approach to sexuality.
  • Sex Ed in the U.S. is about plumbing, not the emotional aspect.
  • Sex is considered dirty in the U.S.. It is not open for discussion.
  • Education is key!
  • Abortion Discussion Bottom Line: Abortion is a fucking choice!
  • Mallory’s Dick Tangent: Don’t put a USB charger up your penis!
  • It is not easy to be vulnerable without the tools and education to understand.
  • Life Goals from Holocaust Survivors: Take all the sadness of your family’s historical trauma and live your best life.

Podcast Promo Shout Outs:

 

Flutter: Always be Prepared to Cheat

This week we talk about cheating and what is means to each of us, respectively.

Moral to the Story: It is imperative to have open communication in a relationship.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Is the old adage, “Once a cheater, always a cheater” true?
  • Tamu questions her experience of cheating on White 1 (still getting the damn names confused!)
  • A chair falls in the middle of the episode!

Episode 22: 84 Invites: Jim & Ben’s Wedding Reunion Special

Right before they popped off to the land of tea & crumpets, Jim and Ben stopped by for one last in-person recording session to talk about their wedding. Apologies in advance to the Brits for our terrible English accents.

Moral to the Story: Marriage has to be based on fake news otherwise no one would do it.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Ben explains the arduous emigration process.
  • Tamu & Mallory cried at the courthouse wedding video.
  • San Diego Shout Outs: To the wedding venue, Bahia Resort Hotel and the runner-up, Top of the Bay.
  • Deep Sadness Moment: Mallory learns Orlando Bloom is engaged to Katy Perry.
  • WTF Moment: Ben learns Orlando Bloom is English!
  • Ben loves Katy Perry so much she is the only artist he listens to offline.
  • Mallory’s elvish journals.
  • Ben is taking his Tolkien collection to England.
  • Ben feels that Elijah Wood should be English and/or gay.
  • Question of the Day: Do the English speak proper English?
  • Speaking of Weddings: Joelle of Mouse and Weens had close to 200 people at her wedding.
  • Ben’s dream wedding came to fruition, the feeling was not mutual for Jim.
  • Friends/guests forget a wedding is not about them.
  • Jim & Ben spent 10 hours putting together their seating chart to avoid “landmines”.
  • For Jim, the bigness of the wedding (84 guests) was overwhelming .
  • Jim’s 80-line excel spreadsheet.
  • Jim, the Consummate Wedding Planner: Jim broke all of the wedding activities into 15 minute increments.
  • Toast strategies for when you have four (4) of them.
  • Would they do a big wedding again? No, however, for each of them watching one another walk down the aisle with their respective families made it worth it.
  • Lessons Learned: Jim will now be a horrible wedding guest.
  • All about the music: Jim’s OCD came out creating the reception playlist and Tamu felt a way about being excluded from the music selection.
  • Shifting Perspectives: Ben’s parents’ progression from him burning in hell to full acceptance of his being gay.
  • You get 1 min: Jim’s explanation for the champagne toast.
  • A moment of Zen: Jim’s mani/pedi relaxation moment.
  • Tamu won’t be allowed into Britain with her bad cockney accent.

Jim & Ben’s Guide to Wedding Survival:

  1. Clearly communicate your needs and wants.
  2. Decide the size of wedding up front and do not deviate.
  3. Agree together on how scripted you want things to be.
  4. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
  5. Don’t freak out about your friends being idiots, they are just excited.
  6. Don’t settle on venues. Take time and look around.

Podcast Shout Outs from Across the Pond:

  • Check out The Thirst Podcast for pop culture, news, reviews, and discussion.
  • Listen to Her Moment in History where hosts Grace and Michelle give famous, infamous and not-so-well know women a time to shine.

 

Flutter: Flying Solo at a Wedding

It is Wedding Season!!!

Tamu and Mallory talk about going to and being in weddings as a single person.

Moral to the Story: Go. Do it. You will be fine. Also, be nice to the other solo fliers at the wedding.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Tamu goes to Jim & Ben’s wedding.
  • Mallory got a sword as best man.
  • Mallory’s new side hustle: Geek Chic Wedding Planner
  • Mallory and the groomsman, a first dance tale.
  • Ambiverts unite!
  • The More You Know: Want to feel fabulous? Go to a gay wedding.
  • New Podcast Idea: The Sad Expert – could work for sadness and seasonal affective disorder.

Episode 21: Dirty Deeds, Dirty John

After watching the Bravo mini series Dirty John, and listening to the Wondery podcast that inspired it, Tamu had to have Mallory at least listen to the podcast.

Moral to the Story: It is easy to ignore red flags when you really want something or someone.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Learn about us: Mallory asked a morbid question about what you want done with your body after you die. It’s either fireworks, trees, space travel, or diamonds for us.
  • The More You Know About Mallory’s Friends: Beware of the pepper shakers at Denny’s because there could be ashes in it!
  • Seriously, Mallory, Your Friends are Strange: Beware of engagement rings because they could be the ashes of a dead woman trying to posses you.
  • #WePodcastLikeThis – Tamu figured out the Bluetooth remote for the tripod.
  • Umm, are we still #WePodcastLikeThis? – Mallory notices the camera is still taking snaps…whoops!
  • Wait, there is a Minnesota Dirty John? – Yes! And he has an Oxygen Seduced By Evil episode.
  • Tamu explains what OurTime is to Mallory.
  • Tamu concludes that there is no good time to date.
  • Red Flag Limits: The Game – Mallory got to the third red flag of the list of red flags from the Dirty John podcast, Tamu ended at the first one.
  • We take issue with the extreme forgiveness of Debra’s mom.
  • Hard to wrap our brains around the fact the Debra forgave John of his sins but never could forgive her brother-in-law for killing her sister.
  • Victim blaming lesson: It is easy to judge when it is not your experience. So stop it.
  • The Sad Truth for the Ladies of Bad@Love Podcast: We will always be suspicious and cynical in order to never be “taken” by love.
  • TV DOES Help You Learn: The Walking Dead provided Terra with the zombie training she needed to survive her attack from John. #doubletap
  • Mallory is a magnet for questionable dudes.
  • Tamu talks about a red flag laden date.

Podcast Shout Outs:

  • Looking for a new book to read or want to learn about up and coming authors? Check out Shelf Addiction Podcast.
  • Ever wonder what happens to the characters of your favorite romantic movie after the credits stop rolling? Listen to Happily Ever Aftermath for an exploration of love and relationships in movies.

 

 

 

Flutter: Reading Porn-Bow

This week, Tamu and Mallory tackle the truth behind being a porn star in an article from Huffpost Life called All The Ways Porn Lied to You, According to Actual Porn Stars, and watch Red Table Talk’s episode about relationships with porn.

Moral to the Story: Let’s not stigmatize it, and realize that porn is meant to be a fantasy, which is how people get addicted. You need to communicate to have that bombin’, intimate sex life.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Pretty much everything in porn isn’t average/comfortable/realistic?? WHAT?! (insert DUH)
  • Anal has far too much prep work and nasty results otherwise
  • Gay porn needs more gay people
  • Feminist porn!
  • Mallory reads her porn, and tells a story from a porn documentary she saw while at college, and why it changed her view on porn
  • Three things will always be in business: Alcohol/Drugs, Sex, and Death.

Flutter: Spoiler Alert! You Don’t Need A Boyfriend To Watch Game of Thrones

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR GAME OF THRONES AND AVENGERS: ENDGAME…Sorry Jim.

We read a Huffington Post article, “I Can’t Believe This Stupid Reason Almost Kept Me From Watching ‘Game of Thrones‘” in which the author bravely explained that she felt she couldn’t watch Game of Thrones because she didn’t have a boyfriend. To which we said, “Oh hell no!”

Moral to the Story: Watch whatever you want. Don’t let society make you feel like you can’t.

Other Fun Topics Discussed: 

Tamu is very upset about Avengers: Endgame and Game of Thrones.

Endgame is problematic because Black Widow is dead and shouldn’t be.

Tamu had big issues with Endgame as a single women with no kids. Why is Black Widow’s life worthless because she doesn’t have a family?!

Women saved the world in both Endgame and GoT episode 3!

Mallory stopped watching GoT after episode one because she was watching with her brother and the incest love scene weirded her out.

Instead, Mallory watched Outlander…she is still looking for a good time travel show.

The more you know: Feeling alone about your fandom? You can find online friends or Tweet the hash tag. Do it after the show, be present and enjoy the moment first.

Episode 20: Romantic Gestures are Creepy Unless You Like The Person

It all started with Offset trying to get Cardi B. back in December with his literal showstopping display of affections. We attempt to get down to the root cause of why Offset felt it was OK to do this by analyzing some of the most romantic gestury movies in pop culture.

Moral to the Story: To be a successful grand gesturer, you know your audience. Take some time to get to know people first.

Other Fun Topics Discussed:

  • Get to know us: We have never been romantic gestured or jestered.
  • Mallory has only ever received flowers on her 16th birthday…from her dad.
  • #WePodcastLikeThis: still a work in progress
  • Mallory meets a Lone Wolf.
  • Upside down world: What if Cardi B. interrupted Offset’s concert?
  • Enjoy Tamu’s movie reviews!
  • Mallory doesn’t know who Katherine Heigl is.
  • Tamu hates Ione Skye’s character in “Say Anything.” She did not deserve Lloyd.
  • What about the backfire?
  • Is there a grand gesture in every relationship?
  • Tamu’s Bridget Jones’s Diary and college grand gesture stories.
  • The best romantic gesture: a dildo
  • Mallory’s casino stalker who put gifts on her desk because pop culture made him think it was ok.
  • HIMYM would be a very different show to watch now.
  • Mallory feels Rachel & Joey could have been real if not for pop culture outrage.

Podcast Shout Outs: